A
female
age
30-35,
*onkey1189
writes:I am about to break up with my boyfriend..The reason is because I found out sweet messages between some chick who he met years ago.. I checked the messages and sent time, was the time where we went through the darkest time together as a couple, to be obviously he turned to that chick and confessed what he has wished he could have done to her... I broke up with him after 3 months because I could not handle the frustrations any longer.. he cried and begged for me back.. I accepted to be with him until today he left his FB page on, I thought it'd be funny to change his status and so on then the chick popped up in convo box and I checked his inbox and found the sweet chats between those 2. I don't know whether this is okay.. I don't want to be 2nd in anyone's life. I love him and he is the one for me.. But I don't know if I could trust him.. Cry..Help. Should I stay or leave? I want to leave..
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female
reader, Foxxy1  +, writes (27 March 2011):
I am in the same boat and you all are right. Staying has made me nothing but angry and resentful. Now Im praying God dive me the strength to leave this guy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): AFter you loose trust the relationship is basically over. IF hes hiding this then what else he hiding? Being emotionally cheated on hurts worse to me, because his heart is somewhere else. It's hard competing for someones heart esp when the new person no what problems You all had. Leaving will only benefit you in the end.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Packed my bags. Thanks guys!
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A
female
reader, week1 +, writes (25 March 2011):
he has broken the most valuable thing in your relationship.TRUST. even after you have taken him back he is still having an emotional affair. you should leave him because if you stay, you are only letting him know that you will tolerate this behavior and it will only lead to anger and resentment.
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A
female
reader, kaykay1989  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Leave him you wouldn't be able to trust him. Just because you've had some hard doesn't mean he can go out and jump into bed with someone else. You both work through it as a couple.
You shouldn't be or accept being 2nd best. He had his chance to be with her when you broke up and the fact that you've found yet more messages is a good sign to run a million miles in the other direction.
You deserve more than that and the last thing you want to worry about when the relationship goes through a bit of hardship is that he's going to cheat. I know it will be hard but with time you will get through it. good luck xoxoxoxo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): i agree with the other person . i would leave him . sweetie if he could not be honest with anything . very good chance he may never . in your head there will always be that trust issues with him . i know because i just went through this . i felt something not right with the guy i dated and guess what i ended finding out the hard way . listen to your gut feeling . if something is telling you something is not right with that guy your dating listen to it . i had a huge gut feeling my ex was hiding something and he did/ a whole dating site . i made a fake profile and caught him and i broke up with him. the best thing i ever did . of course i cry and was hurt but after a while you feel relief.
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A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (25 March 2011):
 I think more important than love in a relationship is trust. Without trust you have no peace of mind, no foundation, and any "love" you may feel now will just erode to nothing. You may feel he's the one for you, but you're just one of many for him. That's not equal and it's not fair. You deserve someone that wants you and only you. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, d'writer  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Your decision to break up with him is the right thing to do. Many men who are even older than your bf love to play games or flirt, and your bf is one of them. These kind of men can't really be trusted, but I could say that there are still so many better men out there. You are still young and you will still meet a lot of people in your life. Don't let anyone play with your emotion, you don't deserve it. Save your heart and your love for a man who really value it.
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A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Leave. You shouldn't tolerate treatment like that. Your question shows that you don't trust him already and it seems that he is not really the one for you. Break up with him now because you can do much better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Hon, he is having an emotional affair with the other girl.
So, either he comes completely clean with you and tells you all, including giving you access to all his passwords and email accounts in an effort to try and get your trust back... or else you tell him that 2nd best is not going to happen for you and that she is welcome to him.
You are not going to fight her for him because a cheater [which is what he is] is just not worth fighting for!!
Please remember he will cry and beg and lie just to keep you as a gf.
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