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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have noticed that my friends have gone through phases where one would kind of deviate from our group and started to hang out with another group. (And completely forget about us/not talk to us as much while they hung out with that group.) Most have come back into our group- this has been going on throughout high school and college. Now it's happening again, where a friend of ours has "changed" and is always hanging out with her new group of friends. (My other friends have noticed this as well, so it's not just me. No, I'm not jealous. I have other friends as well, but I make time for everyone!) She's trying desperately to fit in and has admitted that she can't "be herself" around her new group of friends. (But still continues to hang out with them.) I have already tried talking to her and well, that did not work out at all. Should I keep hoping for my friend to return or move on with my life?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses. Again, there is nothing wrong with her hanging out with other people, but it seems like she isn't interested in her old friends anymore.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (13 November 2009):
It's okay for your friend to want to hang out with other people. Sometimes people have different groups of friends for different purposes. I have several groups that I go back and forth with depending on what mode I'm in. I have my friends that are the "mellow" friends that I like to hang out with obviously when I just want to chill and go to the movies or dinner; then I have "party" friends-- those are the friends that aren't really my close friends but we like to go out and have a good time partying; then I have my close/best friends. Some people just function better this way, not everyone has the same interests. She probably found this new group is different that you guys and may be interested in what they do...it's nothing against you. If she's your friend, of course she'll come back around, she's just checking out new things.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): Jeez! Neediness pushes away people.She has not sworn an oath in blood that she would never have other friends.High time to correct yourself
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A
male
reader, SV  +, writes (13 November 2009):
I think that you should move on with your life. Your friend is simply exploring other people and being freinds with you doesnt mean that she's not allowed to interact with other people.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 November 2009):
Just continue with other friends, make sure this friend knows you're there and when she's done fitting in, no doubt she'll come back. Women can be far different from men when it comes to frienships. You've noted that friends have gone away, then come back. Be patient with her, and make sure she knows you're there, but don't rund around. Make sure you're still seeing other people.
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