A
male
age
36-40,
*evan
writes:Now this is a tough one.Me and my partner have been on and off for 4 years.I love her more than anything and I wish she felt the same but she has said that she doesnt.I cheated on her for 2 months but never had sex with this girl, I had a phase were I had a split personality. I dont think she has ever forgiven me for this but we are trying to make it work.Im paranoid thinking that she's cheating on me but there seems to be no evidence, she constantly berates and insults me and starts arguments over trivial mistakes that I make. I have had to sacrifice smoking, friends and copious amounts of money to keep her happy. She is not a gold digger, she just expects me to treat her as much as other lads do with their gf's who are my partners friends. Its sort of a distance relationship as she is at university and living about 30 miles away, and given my low income its difficult to see her as much as i'd like. I did say that im being paranoid as she is keeping me away from her residence, but she says that she doesnt want her housemates to see me as she thinks they will make upsetting comments to her.I try my hardest to please her but I dont know what to do. Life doesnt feel right without her and I just wish she knew just how much I love her. Just for easier understanding we've broken up twice in total and just got back together in the past 3 weeks. She outwardly refuses to have relationship counselling and expects me to meet her every expectation perfectly all the time. If anyone can help me please do im all out of ideas.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): I think you are being stupid if there's no evidence that shes cheated then its most likely she is not. Did u tell her you cheated or did she found out for self. Anyway I think basicly you just need to give her attention and listion to her needs. I find it hard to believe that you have had to give up friends for her unless that was your choice to do so and if she has forced to to give up friends. I.E saying that she dosn't want you to be friends with certiain people and if that is the case maybe she just dosn't love you back at all and ur best leaving it in the past
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): thanks for the answers but let me add that im a ........complicated person lets just say im a little different, now its in my nature to be a predator which explains the split personality but by no means does it give me the right to toy with her and I dont. More CONSTRUCTIVE answers please.
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A
female
reader, april1116  +, writes (13 November 2009):
 leave her alone, seriously have a talk with her and see what she wants to do and if you all can't work it out let it go.
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A
female
reader, xkiki09 +, writes (13 November 2009):
tbh the reality is you cheated on her she probably felt like you do now , its called karma mate! sorry to say this but shes playing you back because u hurt her shes got bored of u n needs a new dick to suck:D hard times fella! learn to not cheat
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A
female
reader, kadams2009 +, writes (13 November 2009):
u have been honest into cheating on her it might take her a while to trust you again ive been cheated on in the past and it took me a while to trust someone again give her time she will come around i promise u that
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (13 November 2009):
 Don't mean this nastily, but isn't it wierd that you cheated on her in the first place and now its YOU who is paranoid about what SHE'S doing. Is that because of what you did? It seems that reading between the lines, you are now scared because of the way you behaved, and also because you know the tricks you got up to in 2 months, so you are suspecting her of those things. You're the one who cheated, not her. Of course she wants to be treated well, who doesn't?
Unfortunately when we cheat on someone, its the person who cheats who ends up paying the biggest price. Sometimes things just can't be put back together any more. The other person is just too hurt to forgive completely. That my friend is the price you paid when you messed around with another lady. Harsh isn't it?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 November 2009):
She hasn't got over you cheating at all. More than anything, I think she's looking for your love. You've tried getting rid of friends, spending money and all that. But have you sat her down and asked her about how she feels? I really think you need to sit down with her and ask her what you can do to show her you love her. Ask her how she feels about everything, tell her and show her you love her. It's all about listening to her now.
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