A
female
age
30-35,
*ppleBottomJeans
writes:Ok, so my problem is with my mate, who is a boy. We've known each other for around 18 months and we really do get on well. Recently we've been flirting, texting each other loads, now we've got on to discussing sex. He wants us sleep together even though we're not in a relationship. He says he respects me a lot and 'thinks a lot of me' which (he says) will make sleeping together ok. The problem is that it will be my first time and I'm not really sure I want to lose it to someone I'm not in a relationship with or I'm not in love with, even though I do fancy him. I also don't want to be naive and think he wants anything but sex. I'm confused, what should I do? Go for it or tell him 'no'? p.s - he's 19, I'm 16. xx
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female
reader, hanz1993 +, writes (1 April 2008):
 thats ok hun private mail me 2 tell me how u get on
xxx
A
female
reader, AppleBottomJeans +, writes (31 March 2008):
AppleBottomJeans is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to everyone for the answers! Hanz, i DO understand what lads of his age are after and i know i would just be used by him. ill just tell him 'no' and if he doesnt talk to me again then ill know he isnt a true mate. thanks again every1! xxx
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (31 March 2008):
 Right, the "I respect you" line. Ah, an old classic, amazed it still works. Served me well that has, gotten me no amount of free drinks as long as I remembered to keep my mouth open after saying it.
The guy just wants sex, now baleex suggests that girls want sex too, but you don't or you wouldn't be posting here.
I suggest you simply but clearly tell him NO. Wait until you find someone you really do love and a good sign of that would be that you do not need to ask if you should sleep with him, if he is the right one, you will know.
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A
female
reader, bayleex +, writes (31 March 2008):
 I think that you should do what you think is right.
If he respects you he will respect your decision.
And you don't called a slapper if you sleep with a guy your not in a relationship with. You get called a slapper if you sleep with lots of guys and your not in a relationship.
I don't know where people get this idea of guys just wanting sex because lots of girls do the same thing.
Do what you think is right. Don't let anybody's comments or judgements change what you think. At the end of the day it is your choice.
Good luck huni
xx Baylee xx
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (31 March 2008):
He does not sound like much of a friend to me. Tell him NO. From what you have said I am sure that all he wants is another notch on his bedpost. Someone else he can brag to his mates about.
You should know that there is a huge difference between having sex and making love. Animals have sex. People with feelings for each other can make love. Once the full experience of love making has been found very few ever want to go back to just having sex. Having sex is like scratching an itch. It feels good for a while but then it starts to itch again. It usually does not matter how you scratch the itch so long as you do. Unfortunately many guys are just like this when it comes to sex.
I promise you that if you wait till the time is right for you and the person is right for you and you are right for him, it will all be worth it and this guy will fade into history.
Lose him.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, hanz1993 +, writes (31 March 2008):
right honey NO you don't because of the age difference he is probably just interested in one thing and one thing only getting his grubby little hands all over your body.
Sorry to be so harsh but you need to be told hun.
Sex isn't about getting on with some one well its about pleasure and enjoyment. Besides what would be the point in having sex? What would it prove? Nothing!
If he thinks alot of you why would he want to have sex with you any way? But also that should make saying no ten times easier as he should respect your decision.
Besides do you want people calling you a slapper?If you go ahead and do it once then people will hear about it and more people will want to have sex with you because they'll no you will jump into bed with anyone!Plus because of his age he's bound to tell and show off to his mates, its bound to get out and you'll fell really embarrassed and bad.
Come on hun look before you leep.
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