A
male
age
30-35,
*ntPain
writes:Hi everyone, basically i need some moral advice on how to act to women. I'm 18 and so far have been lucky enough to be in love twice. I was with my first girlfriend for 18 months, i was head over heels, wanted to have a future and all that..then out of the blue i got dumped for some guy who to say least is a ... thug.After some time i absoultely fell in love with my next girlfriend. What we had was absolutely amazing, love at first sight, everything felt perfect, we went together in every way. Then suddenly she dumps me because of her ex-boyfriend who was horrible to her the whole time they were together.So, I guess ive just got it in my head that nice guys always seems to finish last. Every girl ive got close to going out with is the same, won't go further than friends because they're scared i'll be a bad guy just like others before me.So now the more recent story begins, i made out with this girl kari-ann and im not going to lie i realy like her however she is friends with sophie - my last girlfriend. Soon after sophie found out about us making out and thinking of going out, she wanted me back, the stupid thing is i sort of went along with it, even slept with her because she wanted to. After a week or so of thinking we were going to get back together i decided i couldnt do it because that ship had sailed, that she'd had her chance and blew it. I now feel awful because i feel like i lead her on, and the whole time i still liked kari and was still talking to her and meeting up as "friends". Then today me, my friend kate and mega close mate charlie got a little silly playing strip poker. A threesome was contemplated and in the end it ended up with me only feeling boob a little.But to be honest, sophie broke up with me nearly three months ago, its been two months since me and kari-ann made out and if anything i guess you could say that for all the stupid stuff ive done. I love this girl. The reasons we havent gone out yet are complicated and for another time but for now...... Am i being a bad guy? I mean i know for a fact that the stereotype of most guys is bad, and i dont want to fit it, i never have, ive always wanted to have that one girl to love unconditionally. It seems to be going wrong recently. I think i should just stop doing stupid stuff and set my heart on kari-ann 100% but i dont want to do that until i feel like ive stopped doing bad guy stuff. What should i do?
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male
reader, AntPain +, writes (3 July 2011):
AntPain is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou everyone for your amazing support and advice. In he end i took eeryones advice and have let kari-ann know i want to move past a friendship. I have also decided to be that nice guy even if it doesnt always seem like the easiest thing to do :)
Thankyou again everyone, you really helped and your kind words brought a smile to my face :D
A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (2 July 2011):
no your not a bad guy i would tell kari ann how you feel about her you have nothing to lose maybe she is feeling the same but is waiting for you to tell her good luck
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (2 July 2011):
 you seem to fall in love easily and you feel that you should be in love with kari-ann. why do you feel like you have to? dating does not always have to be about being in love with the person and looking at settling down with them. you are very young to be feeling like this, there is nothing wrong with some casual relationships, it does not make you a bad person. have you asked kari ann what she wants and expects from you?x
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A
female
reader, GingerLand  +, writes (2 July 2011):
I think you should definitely set your heart 100% on Kari-ann. If you have really strong feelings for her then it only makes sense that you go after her. If you're really serious about her then I'm sure that you'll stop doing "bad guy stuff". You wont have time for it. You'll be too busy trying to do right by her. I think you should definitely take it slow, hang out and stuff, and see where it goes from there. Best of luck :]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): I don't think you are being a bad guy from what you say here, but if your friend Kari ever heard about it i think it would take her some convincing.Don't sleep with her friend Sophie again, thats a no no! Even if you are just friends with Kari, it would ruin chance of a relationship down the road.You can't have a relationship with this girl just yet, is she aware of this? If so thats fair enough just build on your friendship and everything should fall into place. That means building on trust though. So I think you need to make sure this girl Kari is aware of the situation, then its important not to hide things from her, if you do want a relationship with her someday, you will need to show her that you can talk to her about everything. If you guys are just friends atm, then you can date other girls and she can date other guys, but not eachothers friends of course (unless you want to remain just friends)In the long term nice guys finish first. You need to understand that when girls are young they are attracted to bad guys because they want to change them, help them etc but end up getting hurt. After getting hurt by one loser after another they wise up, start to recognise the loosers and steer clear. So the bad guy gets played out and usually ends up alone, while the girl ends up with the nice guy. So which reputation do you want?? And remember a reputation sticks like mud...Good Luck.x
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