A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i have a serious problem and i need some good advice.so i met a guy one month ago and he is very sweet,kind and caring.we have been together for almost 3 weeks and we get along really well.but he is more older than me,he is 18.my parents didn't accept him at first because they thought i'm too young to date,but they got used to the idea.the problem is my parents are both doctors and are well known in our city.in the past two weeks,3 acquaintance of my mother told her they saw me with someone and we were too close and it's too soon for such things(they saw us together holding hands or kissing).they told her it's so obvious i'm not at all like them.(they are not my biological parents).and i felt so bad.i don't want to dissappoint my parents,but i have the right to love,be loved and be together with him.it's unfair how people judge me.i am a very good girl,i never caused any problems to my parents and they know that.but i can't stand the fact that everytime we date someone will see us and will tell my parents bad things about me.what should i do?i don't want to stop seeing him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): Did they tell you off or something? Xx
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (17 September 2009):
 I think this is a difficult one. How old are you? Because I think that has a very important bearing on the way your parents and their friends will view your relationship.
If you are at the lower end of 13-15, then I think your parents friends may just be concerned about you. At the end of the day, until you hit 16, you are legally underage, and he at 18 is an adult, who will in time expect an adult relationship. Understandably they are concerned about your wellbeing, and whether you like it or not, you are actually still a child.
A lot of people do not like it when they see teenagers snogging each others faces off in public. This isnt nice, and it isnt romantic, and it is not what a relationship should be about. Proper relationships are not just about the physical aspects, there is far more to a good relationship than sex and kissing. 18 year old boys are just a rampant mess of hormones, and all they want is one thing. Your parents and their friends do not want to see him take advantage of you, because being underage, it would be very easy for you to feel pressured into doing things you shouldnt be doing (and I know you will say, "ohh but I wouldnt let him pressure me" but in the heat of the moment, or when you think he will leave you, it isnt so easy to say no).
If you are already doing this after 3 weeks I would be concerned about what your adult boyfriend may want you to do next. Where do you draw the line?
The fact you are a good girl, means that you parents do not want you to throw your life away by making a bad mistake now. And I know you think you are grown up, and know everything, but you dont. Hormones and feelings make even the most sensible of girls do the wrong things. They may be worried that you get pregnant underage, and throw away a chance at uni,a good career, and a promising future. It happens. People think it will never happen to them, but then, oops, it does.
Try and understand where you parents are coming from. They are not trying to stop you having fun, they are just trying to make you aware that everything has a consequence.
Please, please be careful!!!!!
Also remember that any type of sexual activity under the age of 16 is illegal. That includes oral! Your boyfriend is 18, and an adult, so therefor could be charged with child abuse, rape and put on the sex offenders list, as well as possibly facing a jail term.
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