A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i have this friend I've known all my life. But we've only become really close this last year or so. I'm afraid I'm developing deeper feelings for her. and she isnt making it easy! She says lots of little compliments,like say I'm cute and stuff. She'll send me text out of the blue just saying something sweet like "you mean a lot to me." In the last 2 month we've hardly gone a day without talking to each other in some way. and she'll even compare us to our favorite TV couple Klaine (Kurt and Blaine from Glee) like last night we were watch ing lilo and stich online together and she says "this seems like something kurt and blaine would do together." We've even said "I love you" to each other but I've heard her say it to other friends too. But the issue is She is straight. she did question it at one point but not for long.I asked her if I was a guy and I asked her out what she'd say and she said she'd say yes but it wouldnt last because she wants someone more dominant. but when it comes to her ?I want the more dominant role. I want to hold her and keep her safe. I believe sexuality is fluid and everyone is able to make exeptions. Should I tell her how ?I feel, that could really affect the friendship or should I not risk it and try to move on though that seems imposible right now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): Speaking from personal experience, just tell her. It's for the best which ever way it goes and no matter the consequences. It's hard on your own sanity to keep something like that to yourself and you have to put yourself first. Good luck and don't panic :) xx
A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 I had to think about this one an awful lot. Your not wrong, this is a huge risk, it could affect your friendship and it could be a disaster. However, I struggle to imagine how you will move on with this giant 'what if' hanging over your head. The risk is high but so is the reward. If the gamble pays off then you could obviously have a wonderful relationship. The level of risk tends to equate roughly to the level of potential reward.She is giving you mixed signals - there is absolutely no doubt about that and this probably reflects her confusion over her sexuality however the operative part of what she is saying is that she wants somebody more dominant than you are being currently with her and this is what convinced me you should take this risk and tell her how you feel. You say you want the dominant role, well, now is time to walk the walk and claim that role. Dominant people do not hold back when it comes to their feelings and making a claim for something they want and that is currently what you are doing. In saying that she wants somebody more dominant she has told you what she wants from you, she wants you to take the lead, because she is unsure of herself. Therefore, I am reasoning that she is implicitly giving you the green light to tell her how you feel, so she must feel the same. She just needs the reassurance of you taking a strong lead on this and being the dominant person you claim to want to be and she clearly needs you to be. So, take the plunge, go for it and good luck.
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A
female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (27 January 2013):
 It won't hurt to try. I mean, how long are you willing to go on with something like this in your chest?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): My best friend and I have both said that if one of us were a guy then we would have been a romantic couple lol. The fact is we are both straight females and simply not attracted to each other in a sexual way, because we do like men and only men. It could affect the friendship and you could lose her as a friend forever, my suggestion is not to risk it and move on no matter how hard that is.I had a female friend who thought like you do that sexuality is fluid and that she could be my exception to my straight sexuality. I can tell you that I am no longer friends with her, the thing is that she could or would not respect that I am straight, and I felt disrespected and that if she was truly my friend she would accept me for who I am and respect my boundaries. I am only telling you this so you can see how it can go. In the end you have to decide for yourself though. Good luck.
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