A
female
age
30-35,
*ustagurl
writes:Should I regret losing my V-card?last year I gave my virginity to my first bf ( I was 22 and he was 25)...at first things were great I thought we were in love, but I guess it was just lust. We dated for a month, then he dumped me and then we were on and off for a year. Then he moved away...2 days ago he announced his new relationship on fb, and I was kinda hurt. Part of me misses him but part of me hates him for hurting me so bad. I've always wanted to save sex for someone special and at the time I knew he was the one, but now I just don't know. I want to wait until marriage to have sex again, but at the same time I don't know if I could marry them without finding out if we're sexually compatible. I guess I just don't know how I feel about sex in general, I wish I would've waited, but at the same time I don't really regret it..can you describe what I'm feeling? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): Yes your feeling what religion society and puritans put on you, sex is great and should be enjoyed, we win some loose some and we move on...AND IF YOUR SMART ENOUGH unscathed by what we are led to believe...even if it's to the next love of your life and who knows there could be many...but this virgin rubbish is a waste of time, lets face it once it's done it's gone POP! you do not suddenly belong to lucifer because you are not a virgin. You wanted to save it for someone special!!!!most people in my eyes are special even if for one moment in life. VIRGINITY does not make us pure and sex does not make us wicked...it's as Uncle Bob said LIFE! LIVING! we are on this planet to LIVE AND EXPERIENCE nature and we were born with a NATURAL INSTINCT to desire sex, in my opinion it is not natural to REPRESS NATURE. Some may strike lucky 1st time round and have no need or desire to search any futher, but for the majority the search continues..as long as the search is done with love each experience should be embraced and RESPECTED not regretted and mixed with shadows that carry on to the next. Have fun and live with no regret ...virginity and purity is in the soul not between the legs and it's eternal the body isn't.spunky monkey
A
male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 Why are you asking anyone else if you should regret something or not? (especially on the Internet, the worst of all possible places to look for personal answers)If you want to feel bad, then go ahead, feel bad. If you want to feel good, then feel good. Your the only one in control of your feelings.As far as the confusion your feeling, get used to it. It's called LIFE!As far as the sex? You will when you want to, and won't when you don't. Stop worrying and just start living.AND,ALWAYS USE PROTECTION
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2011): I'm a 26 years old men.I'm going to show you a male perspective.Guys don't give a d*amn if you lost your virginity (although we do proceed with caution if you lost it with dozens of guys ). They will kindly accept you, virginity or not (unless they are very religious/conservative).What you should do, is not make a big deal of it.The virginity stuff and waiting before marriage was good thousands of years ago, but we now got condoms and the pill. If you give this "issue" more importance than it really haves, you'll be just wasting your time.Sex is a way of sharing love. Yes, there are some guys out there that will just see you as a piece of tail. But I can assure you that there are some very good guys out there that will respect you for who you are.DON'T REGRET IT! IT WON'T HELP YOU AT ALL. You are very much more valuable than your hymen.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (31 March 2011):
No you shouldn't regret it. Everyone makes mistakes, it's part of life. It's much healthier to accept you made a mistake, move on and hopefully learn from it in the process.
A lot of nonsense is spoken about virginity, it's simply sharing the experience of sex with someone, nothing more and nothing less.
From the sound of it, you did have sex with someone who was special to you at the time eve if he turned out to be different after you got to know him better.
You'll probably meet more than one person who is special to you - many people do. You could marry someone who is perfect for you at the time but after 10-20 yrs the two of you could've of grown into very different people. It's not certain even if you marry you'll stay together forever.
I think you sound like you're dealing with it well and moving on. Have some time out of relationships if you want. There's nothing to say you have to come to a decision about sex and marriage now. Maybe wait unitl you meet someone, and then play it by ear. Remembering from this experience that it takes a little more time to truly get to know someone.
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