A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dating has reached the relationship stage and I'm learning a few things about this guy. He was really nice and fun initially and I get along well with his 14 year old son who lives with him.It just seems to me lately he has such a sense of entitlement and everyone should do stuff for him or to accomodate him. I don't know if he's a good person who believes everyone is kind and giving or if he's manipulative and a user.He asks me to drop off his son at his mom 10 miles away in the car so he doesn't have to take a train and pay for it. He asks me to take him to collect some stuff from a friend in my car because his is broken. He stores stuff at my place because he doesn't have room, says it's temporary then just leaves it and I've got it cluttering up my place. I've got to drive over to his because my car's running and he doesn't want to take a bus. I must go to the pub with his mates but he won't come to a movie unless it's his type of movie. He only calls me from work (he says it's a big company and they can afford it!) as he doesn't spend money on phonecalls personally, he will only text, and he expects me to call from work as well although it's against our companies rules.He uses his companies email/internet and is affronted that I don't use mine for personal stuff but it's against the rules. He won't buy prepaid but will have money for drinking at the pub, and then texts me to call him as I don't have prepaid if he wants to talk.He seems to think I am this source of transport/anytime phonecalls when he's run out/helper in childcare and storage facility because we're dating/ in a relationship. Should I not be selfish and try to be more accomodating or should I tell him feel manipulated and used?
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Just show him the door! He is using you as a convenient "picker-upper", chauffer; someone whose home he feels free to drop stuff off at because he says he doesn't have room.
Put all his stuff outside the door and tell him to come and get it - OR load it all into your car and drop it off at his front door - let him know first that it will be there, however.
Once you've done that, let there be an END to this one-sided so-called "relationship"! Don't answer any more phone calls, texts, emails from him.......
A
female
reader, agonyauntsanonymous +, writes (23 April 2012):
Asking for a ride occassionally is one thing, especially if helps pay for gas... Free loading is definitly another. I would talk to him about it first and express your concerns and feelings. Some people can have this tendancy to take over, they dont mean to but they can just naturally be overbearing. In my honest opinion, i think he should be far more considerate and grateful. As far as the telephone thing... Shouldnt a thirty year old man be able to afford a phone instead of drinks at a pub? If his car is broken, shouldnt he be able to get it fixed after a month or two? I mean no doubt everyone has their financial ups and downs... But that sounds fishy. And if i may ask how come he has that much stuff to where he has to take it to your place, yet he has no money to buy a phone... Did he move into a smaller place? Maybe you can sell it and make your gas money back, or better yet reimburse his company for all his phone calls! Kidding... Seriously though talk to him and if he doesnt change, leave.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 April 2012):
 I'm guessing he is a bit older then you and he is "dating" you (a younger woman) because women his own age wouldn't put up with his crap.
Honestly girl!
Pack up his shit, drop it off at his house. Your place is NOT a storage unit.
He COULD have asked to borrow your car to drop his son off (since his car is broken) but he asks you to do it, because..... he couldn't be bothered spending the money when he can ask YOU to do it. He didn't even drive WITH you to drop his son off? WTF? IT IS his son, HIS responsibility!
I think the reason he keeps asking you and "expecting" you to do things, is because you don't say no. He knows that about you. I'm willing to bet if you DID start to tell him no, he'd find another younger woman to use. And you, being nice and helpful is enabling his "user" behavior. IT IS OK to say no every now and then.
Sorry honey, I think he is using you.
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Hun your not his girlfriend your his driver, baby sitter. Storage unit ect
Get in your car pick his stuff up from your place drop it at his say by to his son and get in your car drive away and don't look back..
Your not here for his needs your here to feel loved and respected never forget that
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2012): dont be naive.he is using you.. he knows what he is doing..let him go.. you are not missing nothing.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 I think you should just ditch him. I have trouble believing that he reached adulthood still believing that all the world is kind and giving, but, if he does, why isn't he kind and giving too ??..
My take on this is, he is a moocher. I don't even think he has a sense of entitlement, which, albeit annoying and arrogant, would be in good faith. I think he knows perfectly that what he does is taking advantage and it's wrong, he'll try his luck anytime he'll meet someone weak enough to let his methods work, and unluckily with you they work perfectly.
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy +, writes (23 April 2012):
Hun you have helped him do this to you because you are a sweetheart and want to make him happy but it is all one sided your the one giving and doing he is just taking.
When you do everything it just gets expected from you after a while and that's not good for you. Your in a relationship your not a staff member to him.
It really seems that he taking advantage of your kindness and for him to tell you what to use when and where well that's a very slippery slope you won't get back up to fast from.
If I were you I get his things from ur place take them to his drop them there get in your car and drive away don't look back.. He is not treating you like a loved one your his slave
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 April 2012):
 This one is ridiculously simple.
If he kept asking you for actual money, would it be so difficult to decide what to do?
He wants to use your car and your gas. Does he pay for gas?
He stores things at your place. Does he pay for storage?
You pick him up at the pub when he's drunk. Does he pay fare?
He's freeloading off of you. If he were asking to borrow $150/month, you'd have a big problem with it.
Best to explain that he needs to pay for his own gas and get his stuff out of your house, or you're done.
Stand up for yourself, or he will continue to use you.
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