A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went on a date with a guy who i really fancy ( i had already met him before so not a stranger ) He also said i was better than he thought . I left him a message on the dating site we are on saying if he wants to meet up again to contact me, but i deleted my profile so i don't think he got the message.( not all dating sites are dodgy ) I dont know if he was interested or not . I have rejoined the site but don't look like myself in the picture. Should i message him again or leave it (if hes not interested id want him to say so and not leave me hanging in limbo ) Then i can move on . what should i do ?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 April 2017):
 Are you talking to him from your new profile now and not letting him know who you really are?
Honestly it sounds like he doesn't have much interest. If he wanted to see you again he would have contacted you. Move on and meet someone who is interested in you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 April 2017):
 Then take your cue from your own personal experience, beside from common sense , logic and spirit of observation.
If they leave you in a limbo - they are not that into you to begin with. If they were very interested they'll make it known loud and clear. And if they were at least reasonably interested, they'd manage to let you know where you stand, in order to assert themselves against their possible male competition. They would not risk letting you slip through their fingers for lack of initiative, or lack of clear signals.
Leaving someone in a limbo denotes per se a low level of interest ( and a low level of good manners ).
You do not have to settle for crumbs of attention,- and even less you should SWEAT it to get crumbs !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2017): Im the op. My picture doesnt look much like me because i made myself look nice with my hair and make up and posed to make myself look better. I dont usually wear so much make up and never have my hair the way i did . I have always been left in limbo with relationships only 2 men have ever been straight with me. I was left pregnant and he never said why he was leaving he just disappeared and ive never seen him again (hes never seen his child his choice not mine ) it stems from this to why i struggle being left in limbo
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (15 April 2017):
 You left him a message but he didn't respond. Presumably he could work out how to contact you if he really wanted to. The guy is simply not interested but doesn't have the manners to say so. He is therefore, in my book, not a very nice person and not worth the effort. He is probably dating other women by now - just as you should be dating other men.
I have to ask the question, why does your picture not look like you? The whole idea of putting a picture on a dating site is to let people know what you look like as, at that point, they have very little to go off in making a choice on whether to make contact. Putting on a picture which looks nothing like you is misleading and just storing up heartache. The next guy you meet may comment "you look worse than I thought". How will that make you feel?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (15 April 2017):
 You should never hang about in limbo. You should be in perpetual motion until a man you fancy makes it clear he's serious about you. Even after a few dates (no sex) you're still free to go out on dates with other men.
It is very poor form and quite desperate looking to force someone in the position of having to spell out their lack of interest. Picking up subtle cues is part of living in a civilized society.
For what it's worth I don't care much for his remark about you being better than he thought. You might see that as some sort of compliment, but I don't.
If he REALLY was that into you he would come through the profiles to find you (he should know enough about you to narrow the search), assuming he doesn't have any other means of reaching you. He had between the time you sent the message to the time you deleted the profile to get back to you.
Move on.
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