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Should I lose my virginity to him at 14??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 March 2008) 16 Answers - (Newest, 24 July 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *oniescha writes:

ok I'm a 14 year old girl and there is this black guy I have known for almost a year. He is 14 also. I talk to him some times not alot and he wants to have sex with me. I am a vergin and he I don't think is. Last night I was texting him and he asked what I wanted to talk about, I said I didn't care he said talk dirty with me. So I did he was asking my favorite sex postion and stuf. He says he is ready to have sex with me, I'm not sure if u should have sex I think I am ready but I am very nevous about it. I would be more then happy to have sex I an just scared. He has seem my boobs but nuthing ealse. He says I am hot and he wants me. He asked me when I wanted to cone over and have sex with him. I don't like to get fingered i have only gitten fingered once,

so would that mean I wouldn't like sex?

I think I am ready to loses my verganity but I'm not sure.

should I loses my verganity?

And if so what position would be best?

and how do you get into the real love sex with a guy?

and does sex hurt?

View related questions: boobs, text

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A male reader, Nice965 France +, writes (24 July 2012):

Know that in 14 years we can't be ready, nor even in 20 years, and it's not because you will wait for a very long time that you will be ready. Also know that the other girls and the boys lost their virginity in 12 years, to see 10 in certain cases. It's possible that you a little have pain the first time, it's enough to be frank with your partner, and to ask to him to be very soft because it's your first step in the world of the adults. Finally if you loves him, and that you have envi of him, useless to wait for another guy. Good luck and do not hesitate to return to tell how's that passed ;-)

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A female reader, lemonfrog1 United States +, writes (22 January 2011):

Hey girl, I'm just hear to help. I lost my virginity last night to my boyfriend I love and care about very much. I'm your age and I feel like such a whore for doing it with him, but it's just between me and him. Good advice would be to definatley use protection!! You should make sure you are emotionally ready to do this, and I suggest you do it with someone you love with all your heart. I'm usually not a girl that does bad things like this, but it's not really a bad thing as long as you know it's the right time and you won't regret it. I personally don't regret it because I was there with someone I love, and to me sex is more about intimacy and caring for each other. And btw, it does hurt!! But being with him helped me forget the pain, it wasnt too horrible after all. I hope this helps.. (:

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A female reader, honest eyes United States +, writes (7 December 2008):

honest eyes agony auntok so 2 things 1, if you have to question it you'r not ready and 2, you may not be emotionally ready for sex because sometimes wen you'r young and lose your virginity tou get very depressed so I'm advising you not to have sex and if you do, be protected and the pill is an option as well. just practice abstinence or at least safe sex.

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A female reader, reba4ever United States +, writes (12 August 2008):

ok obviously your health teacher was a horrible teacher or you just didnt pay attention in class but 2 condoms is not safe latex on latex makes it rip very easily thats how you get pregnant not be protected. as my health teacher always said..dont double wrap the pack..or explosion!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

Wow um i kinda lost my virginity at 14 to a guy that i liked. He asked me if i wanted to & i said yea. But b4 all this happened i asked him if he was a virgin & he said yea but i found out he wasnt, i told him i found out he wuz lying and if he thinkz i would b scared losing it 2 a non virgin he was wrong. I still lost it to him, but i made sure 2 b xtra careful so i asked him 2 use two condomz =P he was really cool about it, soooo just do it & b careful, use protection and have fun. Just letting u kno it hurtz at 1st

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

Hi, My name is Samantha. I am a 13 year old girl. i asked the same question. My big sister said to me "Only u no if ur ready" So i lost my v and now i am single i've got twin gurls Roxy and Lissa. I cant go out at weekends i didnt finish school. My life is basicly ruined. Dont get me rong i love my kids to bits but i cant go to the shops with out boys calling me a whore. But no one but u can tell u wat to do, and after a while u will no wat possitions u like. But be carefull, use protection and tell an adult where you'll be. Good luck

Samii

x

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A female reader, mileyemily1215 United States +, writes (19 March 2008):

I say NO end of story see ya peace out : )

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008):

Okay well there are a lot of people who have been saying 'you're too young' or 'ask a parent or trusted adult' thats just stupid. Also, not to be mean, but please learn to spell... Okay anyways, from all I've read, you don't like him. Well not as a lover anyway. He seems to be a good friend. Also, virginity doesn't mean a lot to me, but I would never have sex with someone I didn't love. If you don't love the person, then sex with him will not feel good. Also, as for hurting... Well it depends, if you still have your hymen then yes it will hurt.

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A female reader, nia United States +, writes (17 March 2008):

Girl keep ya head up he does not deserve you only becaues he wants sex just remember when a girl is not sure that doing something you do not want to do is the answer you should trust your own intuition.

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A female reader, barcode12 Singapore +, writes (16 March 2008):

barcode12 agony aunthey. never sacrifice your virginity for someone who only wants you for your virginity. a guy who loves you, would respect you and your willings not asking you to have sex with him. isnt it a waste that you saved your virginity for 14 years and letting it go when you are not sure how far things between you guys can go. Seriously, i lost my virginity and it left me with full of regrets. Please don't okay honey, you are worth more than he sees. make wise decisions. =)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008):

You referred to him as "this black guy."

I am absolutely not trying to be racist here. His race does not matter to me whatsoever. But it sounds to me like his race matters to you.

He's not a BLACK guy, he's just a GUY. There is no reason for you to be thinking about anything sexual with this guy that you would not be doing or allowing with a guy of some other color.

Everyone is quick to say "race doesn't matter." And they're right.

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A female reader, Superman's girl Canada +, writes (16 March 2008):

please don't honey, if your not a hundred percent certain, just don't. It won't make you uncool. Infact, guys are totally into girls they can't get. They keep trying and trying and are intrigued when girls don't fall head over heels for them. And you're fourteen, you have a whole lifetime to met and have sex with boys... maybe when you find one that you really really fancy and it feels right, you'll have sex with him. I hate fingering too... though it feels better when you're with someone who you really trust and you can tell him how it feels, and how to make it feel better.

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A female reader, -NothingLasts4ever- United Kingdom +, writes (15 March 2008):

-NothingLasts4ever- agony auntPersonally, I think there's nothing wrong with having sex at 14 because I lost mine when I was 14. But honestly, I don't think you're ready to have sex.

From what you said, it sounds like he's just going to use you for sex and nothing else, wait until you meet the right boy and then loose it with him, it'll mean alot more.

If you do go thorugh with it, I'd suggest the normal position with him on top, that way you're not trying anything too daring and keeping it sweet and simple for the first time.

If you've been fingered it won't hurt as much having sex for the first time, but it still might hurt. I got fingered way before I had sex for the first time and it did hurt but only for a little bit. Once we got into it, it felt fine and didn't hurt anymore.

Hope this helps, all I can say is don't loose it because some boy told you. If you don't want to, tell him. Don't let him make you do something you don't feel comfortable with.

xXx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008):

That's a lot of questions!

Basically, the simple answer is that if you have to ask all this, you're not ready to have sex. Especially with a black guy. They can have enormous willies which will really hurt you the first time. This is a known fact. They can be very big. I've seen some on porn sites which are as big as a baby's arm. For first time sex I'd recommend you try it with a white guy, who will be more your size and a lot less painful. And a lot less smelly.

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A female reader, rebecca.megan United Kingdom +, writes (15 March 2008):

rebecca.megan agony auntDon't do it!

you're obviosly not ready for it, and i know how tempting it can be in situations like these. i meen, think of all the risks you could be putting yourself through, you're still young and will have plenty more oppertunities to do so in later life, don't feel pressureed into something you no you're not totally comfortable with. you may feel like you're ready at the time, but it's something you will most likely regret. it's obviously you're decission, but you've come on here for advice, so take it before you act upon something which you're not completely sure on, it's not worth it.

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008):

you can only decide to have sex wit him when you are ready. it sounds like you should wait a little longer though- if you really were ready to lose your virginity, then you wouldnt be asking me whether you should. also, it sounds as if you dont really know this guy so maybe you should get to know him a little better before you go all the way with him. remember, once you have sex theres no going back. when its done its done.

please consider my advice- it may no be exactly what you want to hear, but i believe that it might help you.before anything happens, talk to this guy about how you are feeling. also ask yourself whether you truly want to go all the way- you can still satisfy eachothers needs without the whole thing.

always value yourself- good luck

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