A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 22 year old male and I recently went through a breakup with a girl that I had been dating for two and a half years. She broke up with me very suddenly about a month before I was going to propose to her. I had bought her a diamond engagement ring and asked for permission from her father to marry her, both of which she knew about. Needless to say her breaking up with me over the phone in the middle of the night with no forewarning has left me really depressed. I treated her really well and I was always respectful of her, I also challenged her in some areas, but I was never mean or pushy about it. The only answer she left me with after the breakup was that she's not ready to commit to someone for the rest of her life yet. If this is the case then why did she let me buy her a ring and ask for her father's permission?Also, this situation has really affected my self esteem. I have a strong desire to be married and start a family, and my friends tell me that I am a great guy and that my future wife will be a very lucky woman to have someone like me. It is hard to believe those things at this point in time. Right now the thought of getting into another relationship is very scary and I am doubting that I will ever meet the right woman. What should I do? Should I seek out new relationships right now or just be patient and wait for the right woman to show up in my life?
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a break, broke up, depressed, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your helpful input, I am going to take some time in my life to be single and heal from this hurt, but I am also not giving up on relationships. Thank you all for helping me to see that she wasn't right for me and that I need to move forward with my life to find a woman who really can love me.
A
female
reader, PixiLaTed  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 I'm sorry you've had a bad time :/I can't say I understand her behaviour, but I think you should get closure about it - find out the facts, but then move on. She owes you the truth about it. Perhaps shes just not ready, and you could suggest dating again but with no marriage pressure? Only you know if shes worth trying for, but if she refuses to talk to you honestly about why she did such a hurtful thing, then I can't tell you to move on with your life fast enough. Be open to new relationships, but don't seek them - you'll feel like something is missing. But it's not, and when you find it, it'll be great xx
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A
female
reader, Janetbubi  +, writes (23 April 2010):
U sound like a gud guy who is ready to settle,this lady doesnt love u n u should appreciate her breakup now rather than wen u hve kids.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 April 2010):
Wait for now and focus on your own esteem again. You need to believe that you're still a great guy, which you're finding hard at the moment. As long as you're finding it hard, any relationship you go into will fall apart because in your head you won't be there. Take your time, focus on your esteem again and get back on your feet. Then when you've over her and the break up, you can find a woman who will commit.
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