A
female
age
41-50,
*asabi
writes:I was with someone 3 years ago, the relationship went "open-ended" when he decided to pursue his career elsewhere. We agreed to remain friends although we seldomly contact each other since. He came back after a year and when I saw him, I realized I miss him so much and I still want to be with him. I thought he liked to hang around with me as well and we had some really great time together, but lately, I saw him showing interest in another girl... well at least in my eyes, he is.I don't know what to do, I want to get him back, but at this point I am really not sure if that's a right thing to do... well even if it is I don't know how...I don't know why I am so emotionally involved towards him and I can't stand seeing him be good to another girl...Can someone help me?Should I let go or should I hold on?How to let go?How to hold on??Thanks for your advice! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, wantspaintogoaway  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 I know exactly howw you feel. and the truth is you should never let go. If i was him i would realize who really cared about me. In his case it is you. I only hope he sees that
A
female
reader, Leoni26dd  +, writes (5 February 2009):
There are so many similar stories like yours, i'll say i'm a practical example. You see the problem isnt you, I used to know this male friend that made his intentions known towards me, but few months later he introduced a girl to me in quote" i used to know her" and so uneasily i believed, only for him to stop seeing me. I must say that i've never been treated otherwise. Although it wasn't easy for me to take it all in. but then, i had to take a decision, a fast one as a matter of fact. I had to change my environment for a while, only to relise that he wasn't worth it, My advice then comes if you truly love him, as difficult as it might seem, you just have to occupy your self with other of your favorite stuff... And only then if he is truly yours might he come back to you, but the case still remains in a situation were you force it, you might end up with a total stranger. It's better to let the sheep wander and finally find it's way back, than force it to stay and later it wander's away. Wish you the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, Self66 +, writes (29 June 2008):
Hi,
I understand how much we long to be with someone that you love, especially after spending three years together. First, have you told him that you still have the same feelings for him? If not, he may be thinking that since he left and nothing was set 'in stone',so he is going about his own life. It is better to know then to continue hoping. If he is not sure or is confused, then give him 'space' to figure out what he wants. In the meantime, you owe it to yourself to go on with your life. You sound like a great sweet person who has love to share with someone. I am 100% sure that you will get it returned, even if it is not with this guy. A man respects a woman who is not pushing a relationship. In fact, he may admire your independence and he may appreciate you better. But at least you did not waste your time. If someone is meant to be with you..love will find a way. The best advise I can give you is to give him the space he needs and go on with your life and have some fun while he is thinking about it. He knows that he may lose you and if he really cares about you, he will want you back.If not, who knows, you may end up meeting your soulmate in the process.
...............................
A
female
reader, wasabi +, writes (18 June 2008):
wasabi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thank you for your advices Smiles and Danielepew.
I know although that might not be what I wanted to hear but it is definitely something I need to hear!! All these years I have been asking myself, "am I such a horrible person that more he gets to know me, more he flees away?" I think that might be a reason why I am so holding on to him. I feel like I haven't been given a fair chance to show him how I am and how I feel.
Now, watching him treating another girl the exact same way he treated me 3 years ago it's just heartbreaking for me, I don't know what to do in the middle of that...
...............................
A
female
reader, wasabi +, writes (18 June 2008):
wasabi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thank you for your advices Smiles and Danielepew.
I know although that might not be what I wanted to hear but it is definitely something I need to hear!! All these years I have been asking myself, "am I such a horrible person that more he gets to know me, more he flees away?" I think that might be a reason why I am so holding on to him. I feel like I haven't been given a fair chance to show him how I am and how I feel.
Now, watching him treating another girl the exact same way he treated me 3 years ago it's just heartbreaking for me, I don't know what to do in the middle of that...
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 I fully agree with Smiles. I think that the "Open-ended" relationship was just a way to, er, sort of, kind of, maintain a link with him so he might just want to be back with you. It is clear he won't. Whatever romantic interest he had, it's gone.
I would find it hard to go away from someone I truly loved. Apparently, he didn't.
Follow Smiles advice and move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): THis might not be the answer you were hoping for, but I suggest you LET GO!
He probably considers you a good friend, but if he was really that "into you" you would have known it, and he would have reacted different.
Be friendly and stay friends, but keep him slightly at a distance, go out with friends and date other guys.
(What did you do whilst he was away)?
Stop thinking about him as a boyfriend, and keep your mind occupied with other things.
The old saying: If you love something set it free, if it comes back, it is yours, if not, it never was!
Good luck!
...............................
|
