A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have recently found out that my girlfreind for the past 3 years is having an affair, with her boy best mate. I dunno what to do, she said she doesn't no who she loves more, him or me. I don't want to lose her but if i do it will be the end of my life. She is my world but i dunoo what to do, please help me!!!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): Doctor Vendetta,
Your on the ball per usual. No messing about, the truth, direct and unpleasant and in your face... You make me laugh though, keep up the good work...... LOL
A
female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (29 June 2008):
 I LOVE Dr Vendetta's replies. They have me in stitches. I keep having to hide behind my laptop screen because I'm meant to be applying for jobs online and it's not very convincing if I chuckle.
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A
male
reader, gmoney  +, writes (18 June 2008):
You definately deserve better. There are too many women in this world to be stuck on one, unless your married with children. A woman that cheats is no good. Men and women cheat differently. Men get a nut women fall in love. So chances are that if this guy is blowing your girls back out she is falling in love with him.Usually the good guy gets left hangin. Get yourself together read blogs because youre not the first one to get played. Thats what really got me through. Now a days you cant let women get close too your heart until your like 55yrs old because the pain you feel isnt worth it. Women want to have male friends, there is no such thing as a male friend!!!!!! Sorry to rant but it really pisses me off. This is why nobody stays married, your girl doesnt confied in you beacause she is so busy talkin to her "friend". How can form a close bond if the energy is always going outside the circle.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (18 June 2008):
 "She's having an affair, and doesn't know who she loves more!"well then. if she cheated on you, chances are you ain't top dog. who does she love more? Neither of you cause she sounds like a bitch.i mean seriously. what kinda bitch has a 3 year relationship with you and thenscrews her best male freind has then has a barbie moment of.."Hrmmm Well i don't know who i love more.. Ken with his huge muscles, plastic car and no genitals or Tommy with his HUGE... Bank account...hrm.. i would who would be a better compliment to my shous and matching hand bag"Seriously. grow a set. let them drop, kick her to the kerb and find someone better. and i know i know you're in love and all that misrible crap but honestly she's only going to do it again. and again, and do it behind your back and you'll be constantly looking over your shoulder.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (18 June 2008):
 This isn't the "Oops I got caught, sorry won't do it again", nor is it the "I don't love you and I need love".
Either of those are understandable, much as they may be wrong.
This is different, and I would say totally unreasonable. What's she saying? "I've been with you for three years so now I want to play with someone else while I decide if I like him better than you"?
With all due respect, this is a load of absolute b******s. It's completely unreasonable behaviour. There is no excuse for it. What you should do is most definitely NOT to behave like a doormat while she wipes her feet all over you. In my opinion, no one with an attitude like she is displaying (assuming what you have told us is accurate and complete) should be tolerated by any sane partner, however much you might think she is wonderful in other ways. If you want to keep her, give her an ultimatum right now - dump this lover. If you don't, and even if she does choose you, this will happen over and over again. Better to be hurt now than to suffer that pain and indignity next time and the time after. Be firm, forceful, and your relationship might, just might, have a chance.
Or move on. There are thousands of others out there who won't treat you like a piece of sh**. Make no mistake about it, that IS what she's doing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): It sounds to me as if you have already lost her. If she is cheating on you, not sure who she "loves" most and wants to be with?
How will you ever be able to trust her?
What is a relationship without trust?
How can you respect her? She surely is showing no respect towards you and or your feelings.
What is a relationship without mutual respect?
I suggest, you stop feeling sorry for yourself about losing this girl and most important: Stop sharing this girl. Look at reality, move forward.
You deserve far better and far more then what she is offering you.
You deserve somebody that will love you, respect you and with whom you can have a great relationship.
Start going out with friends, start dating other girls, there are lots of girls far nicer and you will meet the right girl.
GOod luck!
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