A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met my partner 3 months before we became a couple. We were just friends and got along really well. He became one of my best friends very quickly and we ended up getting stronger feelings for each other. We have been together for 3 months now and have an amazing emotional, intellectual and physical connection. We are so happy together and are falling for each other fairly quickly and it scares us both a little. We have both been hurt by people in the past so didnt want to get hurt again. He has known, since we were friends, what I want in life but we both decided to just go with the flow and not think about that and just enjoy each other for now. But lately, because of my increased feelings for him, I have been starting to think of the future. He is 22 and I am 24. I am pretty much his first serious relationship and he is my 3rd serious relationship. Because of my age, I want to have a baby by the time im 26 and want to be finished having kids by age 29 as I have a heart problem which iv been told will get worse in my 30s and as I get older. And I also want to be a fairly young mum. He doesnt want kids until hes 25 or older....when hes 25 I will be 27. He wants four kids and I would love that many, but dont know if it will happen that way. So I dont know if I should continue being with him or find someone else who will be willing to settle down and want the same things as me. I dont want anyone else and im willing to compromise but my future is important to me and I dont know what to do. He said he will probably want to move in together in a year and start settling down, just not kids till later. I dont want to wait until he knows what he wants, then its not what I was expecting because I will get hurt and he will get hurt as well cause we could end up breaking up. So do I end it now before we love each other too deeply, or risk it all and stay will him, hoping for the best and risk breaking up in a year or so and having to start all over again. So confusing and sad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): Hi there, being female myself I completely understand where u are coming from. My thoughts on this situation would be to be upfront with him yet again but afterwards, give him a little time if you feel he is worth it.. You can't plan a life and kids with someone who doesn't know what they want jus yet because time is of the essence for you. Be honest with him. And if he is not the one, try to find the right one. Goodluck!
A
female
reader, cheers  +, writes (31 August 2011):
 Pls Communication. Discuss and voice out your planning to him face to face. So he know the points that trouble you all this time. Hopeful he can understand and get along with you
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A
male
reader, aebniala  +, writes (31 August 2011):
I see you have plan and a dead line.
Did you ever think that the doctor could be wrong.
Waybe you should be wingging it more. If and when you get pregnent you mite get qwintuplets. You dont know and putting a lot of pressure on yourself and partner to be, you mite miss the boat. Start by having a hubby, go step by step or have them without a husband. It will be a little harder, but doable. Have a nice life..
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