A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am in a moral dilema but it is affecting my health and I don't know the best way to handle this. I have been in a relationship for some time now and three years ago I acquired a dog through some emotional blackmail from my daughters and my boyfriend. I have an extremely busy life running a business, minding my grandson, running after my boyfriend and just things in general, and of course, the dog. I have no time for myself, the house is full of dog hairs which I think I am alergic to. Well, things have gone from bad to worse as the dog won't sleep on his own and has to come into the bedroom every night which means that every night I have a broken nights sleep as the dog doesn't settle at night either and I am really light sleeper and I have now started to get all sorts of ailments which I think is due to lack of sleep. I have told my boyfriend that I can't go on living this way as it is making me very unhappy and also the guilt of not having enough time to spend walking the dog or just giving it attention. He travels abroad and at the moment is only home every fortnight and even when he is home I have to push him to take the dog out walking and give it attention. I have a friend who can give the dog a very good home but my boyfriend goes mad when I mention it. Also when he comes home from abroad he gives the dog more affection than I get and I feel that if I get rid of the dog he won't want to be with me any more.Should I keep the dog as I took it on in the first place and risk my health or should I have it adopted and risk losing my boyfriend.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Health is the most paramount factor in our life.Nothing can ever replace that.
Stand firm ! Never retreat or surrender! Either the dog goes or he is out.
You need to take control of your life and find your own happiness.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 March 2010):
What is the point in being with a man who doesn't' care you have an allergy? If I were you, I'd leave.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (17 March 2010):
I don't see what the big deal is especially if you know the dog is going to a good home. I got a dog the first time I moved out and when I moved back in with my parents he has the company of their dog and he gets the attention he needs. I miss him now that I'm living on my own again, but I know that he's happier and gets what he needs being with them than he would being with me since I'm never home and can't take care of him like he needs.
If your boyfriend breaks up with you over the dog, then I'd say it's a blessing in disguise. If he thinks it's okay for you to be miserable and for the dog to not have a happier home then he's a jerk anyway and you don't need him. I don't know him, but I doubt he'd dump you for it, he's probably just being a drama queen.
If you decide to keep the dog, then you can go to the doctor and get an allergy shot. They can find out what you're allergic to and treat you for it. Also, it's fairly easy to crate train the dog to sleep in there at night. It may cry and be upset sleeping in there for about the first week, but you have to ignore it and leave it in there no matter how much it cries. Then eventually, it will be ready to get in there and sleep at night, especially if you make it nice and cozy in there for it. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Although it will be harsh to say so, it seems to me the dog is more important to your boyfriend than you are.
The dog needs more than you can give it, it also needs more than your boyfriend is WILLING to give it, you have found a good home for the dog but the boyfriend is insisting you keep it? Why is he doing this?
Do you really think its worth losing your health by keeping the dog just so you dont lose the loser? If you give the dog to your friends and your boyfriend leaves I would say that makes you a winner!
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 March 2010):
 I realize it isn't so easy since you are involved, but to an outsider, the answer is very clear. WHY would you want to keep the dog when its making you ill? Any guy that would expect you to do that without caring about you, and getting rid of you isn't a guy worth keeping! If you mean that little to your boyfriend, perhaps its time for him to go as well.
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