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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I met a guy on an online dating site. We met ofr a first date over two weeks ago and got on great, attraction was there etc. However, after only a couple times after that he said he wants to just be friends. Admittedly, we had by this point shared some intimate moments 9not going all the way though, but nearly). He explained though, that he has never been one to be in a relationship, had loved girls but only as friends. I said that maybe he has not met the right one yet, and not yet been in love. I am glad he has been honest with me, and this is the firs time he has been honest with himself. I have not been friends with a guy before, not by choice I just never have for some reason! My question is, I don't want to be living in any expectation or hope for things to change, should I just relax and enjoy the friendship? He texts most days and we see each other couple times a week, which for a friends I think seems quite a lot?? Weird thing is, we do fancy each other, but I made it very clear when he said he wanted to be friends, that there would be no sex or kissing, and I have stuck to that as I know I can't do the whole friends with benefits thing. any others out there who have felt this way? It would be great if something did happen but I cannot think like that, and when I am ready in the future should think about dating again. What do you guys think about this situation?
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friend with benefits, kissing, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, paula collins  +, writes (3 December 2011):
i think you should relax and enjoy your friendship with your friend its better to be friends first before getting into a full relationship with someone it's good to be able to talk on the phone go out to a local restaurant to eat let him take you to a movie or go to the park just a real good friendship is a really nice thing you don't have to be pressured into any sexual thing just relax and just enjoy the friendship sometimes i feel people jump into relationships to fast to soon and before you know it into something you did not want to be in when you should just take your time at and really get to know someone i feel a lot of people need to build up a real honest friendship someone first and let every thing flow take care good luck paula
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your comments. Yes he seems to want all the benefits of being in a relationship without the commitment especially with what he has told me about his past. I can't be friends with a guy with whom I know my feelings for him are likely to grow the more I spend time with him, I cannot switch my feelings off. Yes he does like/fancy me as compliments me and we have shared some close moments, but I still will not have sex with him and he knows that and has said he won't allow that to happen anyway, no matter how tempted he or I may be. Now, he seems distant, probably because he is not getting what he wants (sex) and if the friendship dissolves, proves he was only after sex..!! Unfortunately I already feel too much, and know it is a one way street. I need discernment and to make the right decision, I think I know what I need to do :-)
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A
male
reader, asap09marc  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 Chick,get back online and find another. You fancy each other? Did he tell you that? Are you thinking for him? If a man fancies a woman,he wont hesitate,believe me chick. Get back into online dating,beware of the players and pic collectors,and who knows? You just may get past the trolls and find that one man who really does want a relationship.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 November 2011):
 If you told him you can't be FWB but are happy to be friends then GO FOR IT. who knows what might happen later on.
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A
female
reader, cinc71  +, writes (2 November 2011):
 Hi!
My bff is a male and i love it. I do have a boyfriend which is my soulmate and don't want anything more with my bff. It works great for me since i'm not a girly girl, i really enjoy his company we are a lot alike. If you do have feelings for the guy it may complicate things and you may get hurt in the end. Will you still look for someone else if you hang out with him? Can you only be friends with him or you think you'll fall deeper in love with him? Good luck :)
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