A
female
age
36-40,
*ewbeauty25
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and I noticed he was acting strange. He stated that he had to have a meeting with his cousin for their new business in jersey. He tried to leave me to go to new jersey on my birthday... to have a "business meeting!" I felt uneasy. He had his phone with him and I snatched it out of his hand to look at it. He tried to get it back but by that time it was too late. I read a text message saying "babe can you make sure to bring a bottle of liquor with you. He text back k ". Then he must have said to her he couldn't make it. she replied back "its okay babe sometimes things dont always work out the way we want".I grabbed my belongings in his house and proceeded to leave. He held the door to help me out. I said oh I see, you just gonna let me go huh.. that's when he stopped me. I said call her up and prove to me this isn't true. He said no, he didn't have to prove anything to anyone, he'll let me meet her. I forgave him, after two weeks he called me. I took him back and he stated that he will remove her from his phone to make me feel better and he informed me he will no longer deal with her and let her know that he is getting close with some one else.Three months later I have yet to meet her. I've stopped seeing the girl's name in his phone but there is a new one that keeps appearing therefore I confronted him about it. He states to me that the new girl with a diffent name in his cell phone is actually the same girl, I grab my things to leave again.. felt like he lied. He stops me again and says" is this it, this is how its gonna be. "I don't want to lose you" I forgive him again. This same female is on facebook and they are friends on facebook. I'd asked him a million times if you cut strings off with this girl, why do you need her as you friend on facebook? He said the same reason you still are friends with your exes on fb.. I left it alone again till recently. I check facebook and look at his page because he's away and i miss him. To look at some pictures of him. I left a comment on one picture and the next day he DELETED his entire facebook account. WHAT!!! I called him and emailed him. I felt like I was being avoided so I sent the female a message asking if they're seeing each other she responded by saying they are no longer in a relationship but they remain close friends. She kept beating around the bush and I asked her are they still having sex with each other. She stated that they broke up a month before we got together and they got back that a few after that and she thought that he was only having sex with her and she stated that he is just him and we are not the only ones and to trust that .. I questioned him and he stated that he cut her off she keeps trying to get back in contact with him. I stated is she your friend he said yea then why would she say that. He said calmly maybe she's tryna get back with me. I broke things off with him and asked him to get his belongs from my home. he said he'll have a relative sure do so nonchalantly. I told him to tell me the turth that he has nothing to lose, we are already broken up and we are not married so tell me the truth. He stated he has told me the truth about everything. I just dont believe him and now he doesn't care anymore. I spoke to his cousin and he stated that his ex is very devious and I shouldnt believe her but he didn't understand why my boyfriend changed the name in the phone.. Am i wrong for feeling this way? Please i need some one to help me get clarity. I love my boyfriend and I see a good future together but I'm afraid I cant trust him. Should I give him ANOTHER SHOT ..or let the liar fly..SHOULD I BELIEVE HIM WHEN HE SAYS HES NOT CHEATING?
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broke up, cousin, facebook, his ex, liar, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Empressjai  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 You are not in a relationship with this guy. He is a free agent and will do whatever he wants and see whomever he chooses until he find the right girl who he thinks is worthy of his monogamy. I'm afraid that you don't seem to qualify. This guy is not the problem here. He knows who he is and he is getting along with his life. The problem is YOU. You're too needy and you lack any respect for yourself. You go around looking for trouble, checking up on him dying to be hurt and i feel that you are addicted to the drama. You step out of his place and he opens the door to let you go, you should have kept on going because he was willing to see the back of you. He doesn't want to be with you and you dont need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out. But you think you need him that is your mistake. The moment a girl feels she NEEDS a guy the whole thing is doomed. You will put yourself through a whole manner of abuse and disrespect because deep down you somehow think that you are not worthy of a decent guy so you cling to a player.If you want a life of pain, heartache and distress then stay with him. You dont seem to like or love yourself that is why you want him because he confirms your belief of self-hatred that you have for yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone on this site tells you, as long as you have this negative belief that you need this guy you will try to cling on for dear life. Your self-esteem will take you a lot longer to find than a new boyfriend so you need to prioritise here. Take time out to heal and mend. Get to know who you are because you don't seem to have a clue. We all want to be loved and nurtured so why are you so willing to be rejected. He told you to take care of yourself, in other words GOODBYE. You didn't make any mistake in letting him go...he left.
A
female
reader, newbeauty25 +, writes (30 May 2010):
newbeauty25 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionnow i talked to him today and i basically begged him to tell me the turth and that its not good for him spiritaully if he continues to lie. i asked him . why did you change the names in your cellphone. ? the phone began to break up . he called back and said because i was acting up and making him feel uncomfortable. and that she would call him and text him. therefore i said if you just tell me the turth i will respect you for that and responded tht he did. he acted nonchanlantly again, he said take care of myself and i said the same ..
now im feeling confused .. did i make a mistake? of just let him go ?
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (29 May 2010):
 When the trust is gone, the relationship soon follows. Why involve yourself in all this drama when there are so many good men out there?
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (29 May 2010):
 You tell us you love him and see a good future together? What on earth is there "good" about the way you describe this man and his behavior?
He is cheating on you but trying to hoodwink you into thinking they're just friends but clearly twice now he has attempted to deceive you with the sane girl. What more evidence do you need to be convinced of his worthlessness?
You can not trust him, so point him to the front door, and tell him to walk through it and not come back!
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