A
female
age
41-50,
*azzie1
writes:Lately, I've been feeling drained with my boyfriend of 5yrs.. mind you a very crazy relationship from physical abuse in the past.. he is always complaining about me like for instance he does stuff that i do not approve of and he wanted me to hang oput with his friends and their girlfriends outside which in all reality I did not feel like it.. and he got so upset because he say's he feel's like he has nothing with me because there's nothing wrong with hanging out in front of the building with him.. I am so grown for that maybe if it was a gathering.. he's always telling me how me and him are so different and that we should move on which I think it's actually happening as we speak..Why is it that when i'm home I feel so at ease with my 2 boys and then when I'm with him I feel so much tension.. he stresses me out 99% of the time but then when I'm home alone I start thinking about him.. it's been 5 years and I don't plan on movin in with him any time soon because he put his hands on me that last time and I kicked him out.. Is this normal to feel like this?
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female
reader, Empressjai  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 This man is a habit a bit like smoking. You keep promising yourself your going to pack it in but you still get tempted to have just one last fag and then you'll pack it in.
He's a habit that you will need to break because if your energy is drained when you are around him then he is not good for your well-being or your boys. I hear a lot of the times how much people love their partners but love is not enough for a relationship to survive, it needs so much more. You are not growing in this kind of relationship and you need to be concerned for your boys as they will be absorbing all this negative energy and may even think that how your bf is..that's how it is to be man. They need a more productive and pro-active role model.
You're drained because your bf hasn't got the ability to fulfil your heart and soul and uplift your energy instead he sucks the life-force out of you and brings you down. Leaving is easy but the hard part is you missing that fix, so that makes leaving seem harder than it actually is. After 5yrs there is still nothing as habits like this don't change they just get worse. ~It's time to call it a day and cut your losses.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): Lady
you have a partner whom you love and that is why you are with him. He stress you coz, you expect him to think and do some things that he does ( you expect coz, you are attached to him ).
So best for you is to get adjusted to the way he is. you love him so you can never leave him so forget that idea. It will be much more painful.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (29 May 2010):
 Well, why are you still with him? Could it be that he's become sort of a habit - "better the devil you know, than the devil you don't know" sort of thing.
It sounds as if the two of you have basically very little in common, and he evidently realizes this.
You can do much better than him! You just need to find the courage to make the break!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): I think you really do need to move on.. Because he's not doing anything good and productive to your life so why have him? It's gonna be hard to forget him and move on but it's what's best for you ...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): hey,you have been with your boyfriend for 5yrs already, and even though you can stand him anymore you find yourself thinking about him, because you are used to him. You are probably confusing love with the feeling of being used to someone being there. The relatioship you guys have isn't healthy at all, its better if yall go your seperate ways. At first its gonna be very hard, but it'll be for your own good. Why insist on wasting more time in a relationship that is clearly not working out?
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