A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a female.I have a boyfriend called Ricky (not real name)he is 24 and i am 16 (i know big age gap but he and i get along really good).We ain't made out yet but he wants to.I went to rick's house when his parents were out somewhere and we did the usual stuff, chatted and kissed and that sorta stuff.but then he just started to put his hands underneith my top (i know this is really sick and you don't want to read this but bare with me.) and started to fiddle about with my bra but i just was shocked and pushed him of. I told him that i wasn't ready but he just was like annoyed and told me i was so naive.I was really upset and i went but when i got home i started to think and maybe i should of allowed him to do it but i just didn't feel ready. He is such a great guy and i don't want to dissapoint him. i don't know if i should have let him.should i have (maybe i'm behaving like a kid)let him?please answer.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JTalbott  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 You just ran into the difference in healthy sexual differences between sixteen and twenty-four. Yes, dating someone in your age group is more difficult and awkward at times, but it's a much healthier place to be.
Yes, older guys are more persuasive and more likely to be in control, but developing a balanced friendship with your peers is a skill that will serve you a lifetime.
A
female
reader, nat.d.82 +, writes (18 December 2007):
if he is so great then why dont he respect your wishes although fondeling isnt really a big deal to a female who isnt ready for that kind of action yet it is a massive deal and you will remember it for the rest of your life i think you done the best thing by pushing him away i mean the choice is up to you you could have done what you did do or you could have let him do it and then when you look back on thefirst time you and your bf took it to the next level you will remember how uncomfortable he made you feel and you will most likely resent him for it !!!well done for doing what your heart and head told you to !!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): Do not do anything you don't feel comfortable with.
The fact that he's 24 doesn't mean anything. If "age doesn't matter" then you should be stopping him just as fast as you'd stop a fellow teenage boy who was going too far with you.
If he dumps you, he dumps you. If this is what happens then he was only after one thing anyway no matter what he says. But you don't "owe" him anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): Only do what you feel comfortable with. You shouldn't let anyone pressureise you into doing something you don't really want to do.
If your boyfriend really loves you he should respect you, your body and your wishes - and he should be happy doing only what you want to do. It is your presence that should make him happy.
This probably sounds harsh, but in these kinds of situations you have to think of youself first.
Feel free to ask more questions! x x x
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (11 December 2007):
 I agree with Harshbutfair, you are way out of your depth by dating a guy who is eight years older than you. Men his age expect intimacy and clearly you are not ready to handle an adult relationship. Wait a good while before you find another boyfriend, also find someone nearer your own age so that you are more on an equal maturity level and let this guy go so he can find a person who is more receptive to his needs. In time you will find that you are more than ready to take such a huge step and enjoy a fulfilling relationship with the right guy, someone who is more patient and caring. Take care my love Dusky xx
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A
female
reader, lilmizagony +, writes (11 December 2007):
hey when he was putting his hands underneith your top did it feel wrong or right? by the sound of it you wernt ready and it felt wrong but dont do anythink you dont want to and even if your friend say they have dont stuff with boys dont listern to them respect yourself. You are dating a guy who is older and who is sexually active he is going to want more and if u didt want to do something he should respect you for it and he would wait untill your ready trust me you will know when its right or wrong and if he does truly love you and respect you he will wait you only get one first time find someone your own age most boys that are his age only want sex hun.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (11 December 2007):
 Be true to thine ownself.
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A
female
reader, Zoggi +, writes (11 December 2007):
You were totally right to listen to your gut instincts - don't let him have his way unless you're sure it's what you want as well, and certainly don't feel you owe him anything, just because he is frustrated. There is nothing naive or childish about not wanting to be groped, a woman of any age might feel the same way in your position. If anything, you were actually being mature by standing up for yourself. He is the one being "childish" by not respecting your feelings.When you meet the right man, you will know because everything will feel right. If there are doubts in your mind, listen to them!That said, I can't tell you to dump him. You should raise the issue with him and above all, make absolutely sure he understands how you feel and respects you before this relationship goes any further.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (11 December 2007):
 The problem is that you are dating a guy who is older and who is sexually active. Of course he will expect a sexual relationship.
I question why he is dating such a young girl? Have you asked yourself that? Are there no women his own age he could date? Why go out with a sexually inexperienced girl like yourself?
Unless you want to fast-track your sex-life you would be better dating guys closer to your own age.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (11 December 2007):
 If you feel uncomfortable then you aren't ready for this kind of relationship. He is older and if he can't respect your feelings then you should move on and find someone who will.
Seek God's plan for you and soon enough you will find your heart's desire.
Godspeed.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (11 December 2007):
 No, you should not have let him touch you. You are not ready for it and he is VERY wrong to have pressured you. He may seem great to you, but I dont think this is a great guy at all! I think you need to dump him.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (11 December 2007):
 If your not ready your not ready its as simple as that DONT EVER DO ANYTHING YOU DONT WANT! He should respect you and not do anything you dont want and not be mean about it, if this keeps happening and h doesnt respect your boundaries and tries to push you then DUMP him, it doesnt matter how great he is if he doesnt respect you and tries pushing you into anything he is a loser and a creep!
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