A
female
age
,
*ilma
writes:please helpme .my husband of 7years has just told me that our marriage is over.there have been no signs of our marriage going down hill.he went home in march to build a house for us in bg.i was over in sept and everything seemed to be ok.but low and behold on nov i discovered that he had emptied our joint bank accounts and is residing in england with some woman that he met,. only knowing her all of 4weeks.i am totally devastated.my husband has never as much as been to an atm before as we always new what one another was going reguarding money.i am now receiving horrid txs describing out life over the last 7yrs.yes he is obviously telling her all this but why.i just cant understand why all this is happening.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, novicenluv  +, writes (13 December 2007):
I agree with "Tuatara"; what your husband has done has no name. I know we're all sinners thus we shouldn't judge others but reading your post I felt compelled to express my outrage for what your husband has done to you. I'm not a person to wish ill will on anyone but the truth is that Karma is a bitch!! I personally know of two cases in which the husband abandoned his family and later in their lives both of these men had to suffer the consequences of their actions. My heart goes out to you; wherever you may be I want you to know that my thoughts are with you; I too recently lost the one person whom I love with all my heart. Under different circustances mind you but freaking excruciating all the same!!
I can only share the few things that have helped me through my ordeal; first and foremost, do not block your emotions, you must purge them out from within and let them manifest themselves in their fullest expression. Secondly, and this is a tough one, it really helped when I arrived at a stage in my grief at which point I chose to forgive my wife for all the pain she brought into my heart. Third, I finally began to accept the fact that I am NOT responsible for my wife's actions. This is vital since I went through a stage in which I would blame myself for the things I did to contribute to the end of my marriage and for things I rationalized that I could have done differently in order to make her happy.
Fourth, I began to read alot; sought the advice of a counselor and now I'm contemplating joining a divorce support group.
I can't lie to you, it's a tough road; there are days in which I miss my wife so much I can hardly take it; but the more resources I tap into the more manageable the whole ordeal seems to become. Remember that right now you deserve all the support you can get; seek out family and people you feel you can trust. Sometimes hearing from different perspectives sheds light on certain aspects you might have overlooked or not been aware of altogether. Keep your head up and remember that life or God never gives us more than we can handle.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): Hi WilmaI firstly want to say that this is awful, dreadful, gut renching and dispicable. You have every reason to feel completely turned upside down and back to front. This feeling will be churning you up, so try to slowly get your head around what is happening. I am not an expert at all in what you should do or what the best process for you is, however perhaps with your coming hear you will get snippets from all of us which you can mull over and choose the options which you feel could work best for you in dealing with this crap your husband has laid in your lap.Firstly your in shock and panicking, totally understandable. All of your emotions at the moment are mixed up and your flowing around angry, shocked and devastated, again this is totally understandable and normal. These feelings are going to last for a while and will start to get more bearable over some time.What I suggest you try hard to do now is to get yourself sorted and focused on protecting yourself. Just sit yourself down and make a list on all of the financial, accommodational and all the things that are making your life tick at the moment. Close your accounts and open new ones. Check to see if on your joint accounts it required your signatures etc to clean it out. Change your daily mobile number, a number these two shit don't have so you can function without freaking when it rings - keep the old one but give it to someone you trust to monitor and check on your behalf. This way your not getting harrassed, but you still have the ability to check. Get yourself STRONG. If you at this time just get sorted, anger will carry you through. Your still going to have hard rough emotional days, but you may start to feel a little more in control and able then to unravel this disastourous, deceitful scumbag, who I think is a coward. Your not. Dismiss him in your thoughts at this moment, hard to do I know, but get your self back in some sort of control and things may start to clear for you in going forward.All the very best. ListBank accountsMobilesDismiss his power over youLawyerThink about what you have always wanted to do, and DO IT!All the very best and take care. xxx
...............................
|
