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female
,
anonymous
writes: I always thought that my relationship with my man was a bad one because it wasn't perfect. Since then I've looked at other people's relationships of people my age, and I've realised that every relationship has it's faults. My man lied and exadurated about little things, but was honest about the big things, and he was a big flirt but I don't think he meant anything by it. He also put himself first in the relationship, which is probably normal, but I put him first too so it felt like he was being selfish. He cheated once, about a week before our 4 month relationship ended when things were already on the rocks, and although he never told me about it (I've heard from other people who are reliable sources) I think one of the reasons he ended it was out of guilt over that, as he sort of hinted about it when we were breaking up. Basically, what I'm saying is that this is everything that was wrong with my man. He gave me so many amazing memories and made me grow so much as a person that I didn't think about these faults very often. But I had friends and family members who repeatedly told me to leave the relationship because it was a bad one. How could it have been a bad relationship if we both got so much out of it? Should I have ignored everybody else and just focused on my man? Surely all relationships have their ups and downs, these things happen to lots of people all the time?
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female
reader, LISAG +, writes (15 November 2006):
 First of all most important things ever is that YOU are number ONE, no one else. It's your life NO ONE ELSE's. Take this relationship as a part of a learning curve, listen to your family and friends, they love you - he dosen't, otherwise he'd be with you and not be putting himself first always. We all have to think about ourselves firstly but in an equal relationship there is equal consideration for the other partner. Don't ever focus or wrap your life around a man, it's not good for you. No man can take responsibility for your happiness, that is down to you! You become unattractive to men especially if you don't have your own life and other things to worry about apart from him. Move on he's cheated on you and knows you're ok with that - it'll happen again if you stay.
A
female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (15 November 2006):
 Some people are in our lives temporarily to teach us things... that doesn't always mean they are good to keep around. In the course of 4 months he cheated and put himself first... just take what you can from that experience and move on. Relationships do have ups and downs but in a course of 4 months in any standard thats a bit much... find yourself a nice lad relationships should be give and take and its all about putting someone you love first if he didnt do that your best off finding someone who will
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A
female
reader, marie78 +, writes (14 November 2006):
He doesn't deserve you, and given that you put him first in the relationship and forgot about your own needs and wants tells me that your self-esteem is low when it comes to men and relationships. He broke-up with you not out of guilt, but because he wants to continue his lifestyle of being with multiple women. Be smart and don't get back together with this guy. If anything, you can be friends, but don't get back together with him unless he recognizes and apologizes for what he did to you. Even, then, I'd be weary. Go find another guy who will cherish you. Good Luck!
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