A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok. So I have a crush on this guy, it may not be that. I want to tell him I think he looks good :D why? I don't know. But if he were to ask me out I would go. But the problem is my cousin said he flirts with her and her coworkers @ work. She said its nothing but I don't know. I mean yea when ur single you can flirt with whom ever you want too, but she's my cousin o_0. and I swear its like me and her always get wired up with the same guys which I HATE WITH A PASSION!!! When I was 13-16 she tried to steal my internet puppy love ( lol ) and when I was 18 I was having sex with this guy, he was my second but we weren't together she met him @ her job ( a pizza shop ) and she started liking him and they went out on a date. and now since I don't talk to the first 2 anymore I have a crush on this new guy BUT she said he flirts with her and her co-workers. So should I just leave him be or no. I'm just tried of me and her always bumping heads with the same guys, because I think that nasty esp if I had sex or she has sex with them then I or she come alone and date/talk to him.
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 u like what u like. Yes. It has consequences. Try thinking with both your head and your heart.
Most girls will make a lot of excuses for the guys that they like behavior - just because they like him. They hard news is that you aren't going to change him, just because he likes you, or wants to get a little somethinsomethin.
I do not want to sound preachy or tell you what to do in terms of goals. I'm trying to get you to avoid unhappiness.
The FACT is that most people are trying to date/hook up/meet others in order to form a bond and PROCREATE - in other words - form a family. That's what dating is all about. So, You'd better review your priorities and figure out who you would want to share things with; rather than who turns your head.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice!!!
But I don't hang out with my cousin what so ever. The only thing we do is text, and if we talk on the phone she usually calls me to talk about her boyfriend. But I'm not going to talk to the guy, and why should I change my type? I mean u like who you like right? And I never did anything to her when we were kids we were very close until my internet bf ( lol ) but we started to get back cool again. Maybe I did do something to her but I don't know!!! I want this to stop tho, what if I get married???? O_0
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (26 October 2010):
You want to date a "player"? Why? This is definitely a case of "Be careful what you wish for, because you may get it", because dating a player is a sure path to heartache. You already know what he is, but what, you're going to "reform" him and be "his one-and-only"? Think it over carefully - I'm pretty sure being a player and a cheater are pretty synonymous...
And in what universe is it okay for a cousin to go after guys that you date? She's not a friend, and she sure isn't displaying any family loyalty, is she? So why are you hanging anywhere near her? I'd stay as far away as possible from this disloyal beotch.
Get you own life, and keep it far away from your cousin - you can see her at family get-togethers instead of trying to be friends or sharing any ties with her outside of that! It's not being disloyal to her on your part if you already know how she behaves and reacts - it's being self-protective. She's already proved to you how she will behave. We all grow out of friendships and close ties. This on is one that I urge you to get out of and keep her at arm's length.
I knew a girl like this when I was 15, and she still is a big old cougar. There's no way that I would have her stay over at my home anywhere near my husband, because I know she doesn't have any boundaries or shame... Fortunately, I also know that my husband insulted her when she came on to him when she was 15 and she was mortified... lol!!!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 October 2010):
 What if, what if, what if? That's all I see here. You find a guy cute and he may or may not flirt with your cousin who has a history of trying to hook up with guys you like/are with.
So, what if you talk to this boy? What if he asks you out? What if he keeps flirting with your cousin? What if your cousin accepts?
Maybe it's time for you to change your type. Things didn't work out with them in the past anyway, so why not focus on something different? That way your cousin, who's taste in men is similar to yours, is less likely to flirt with your man. Or maybe she just a spiteful person at heart and wants to steal your man because of something you did to her as a child. Who knows? I just think your time and energy would be better spent worrying about things other than "what if's."
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