A
female
age
41-50,
*orus26
writes:im currently 26 weeks pregnant and my bd walked out on me so he could concentrate on being a good dad to his 2 children from a previous relationship and our soon to be born son but the problem is his ex is stating that he isnt to have anything to do with our son if he wants contact with his other two he is currently seeking advice from solicitors on access with his 2 but he says it takes to long and he misses them so much so he caters to her to keep her sweet so he can see them (which is why he broke up with me) anyway he still tells me that he loves me and wishes things were different but also at the same time he wont let me move on i have stated that i want to move away from all the crap that his ex has caused over the last year so my son can have a fresh start when hes born without all this agro but my ex has stated that i can move but im not taking his son away that he will stop me by anymeans nessesary. and the only thing i can come up with is to run away so he cant find me but i dont want to take his son away from him but i dont see any other way please help.
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female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (31 October 2010):
 1. You don't have to let him see his child. Father's don't see their children by choice every day.2. The fact that his ex would even say that he can't have anything to do with your son is ludacris. She sounds very demanding, unrealistic and immature.3. If you leave it's not kidnapping, cause hey, you're the baby's mother. Most states give full custody of the children to the mother automatically anyway.4. He needs to see a lawyer about his other two children and his involvement in their lives, especially since his ex sounds like a crazy psycho.5. He needs to decide if he wants to have anything to do with your guys' son and if he does, then he needs to commit to that.6. Don't worry about him and his ex, that's his problem. You have a baby coming, being a mother is a life changing experience that will empower and awe you. Concentrate on the new life that is being given to you. There is no feeling like that in the world. Trust me. You will have a whole new perspective on things once that baby is here.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (26 October 2010):
 He has a history with getting women pregnant and then leaving them. Why did you think he would be any different to you?
The ex is not your problem. If she wants to cause him trouble, let her. What you have to worry about is the problems he can cause you.
Move on from him, build your life on your own with your child. If he wants to see your baby, then make it all legal. Consult a legal advisor and find out exactly what your rights are, including visitations, and maintanence.
If he gets women pregnant, he needs to learn about the consequences.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 Move on from the relationship. Do not physically move. You really are legally bound to let the father of the child get to know the child. If you run away it will be called kidnapping, and you could be charged with it and actually sent to jail, as well as the baby-father getting full-custody. And then you would be the one who will never get to know your child. So be smart and mature about this. Running away is children's games. Life is not perfect, and while you don't want anything to do with your ex at the moment, you are pregnant with his child and what you want is irrelevant. You can move on if you want to, as in finding a new boyfriend. But the father of your child will ALWAYS be in your life, because you and him need to keep communication open because of your child.
Move on in different ways. You can limit the contact between you two to an absolute minimum. Then find your own place to live, and figure out how to be a single mom. But do not play with fantasies about running away. What your ex has done is his choice, and you can make your own choices. You do not have to let his ex bother you, she is his problem, not yours. Let this man and his ex be, and focus only on yourself, your child, and maintain contact with your ex only for as much as you absolutely have to.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 October 2010):
 This man needs a vasectomy. Well he didn't stop the other girl..So how is he going to stop you? He doesn't want to go through the legal trouble, he's already proving this with the other 2, plus that's the only way he would actually be able to stop you.
You already know it's best for your child to grow up in a healthy stable environment. I'm afraid his biological father can't offer him that, especially since he's broke up with you in pursuit of his other 2 children. In which his ex states if he wants to see his other 2 children then he can't see yours..and that's ok with him. I question if this woman is even an ex girlfriend..more like a current girlfriend.
Your ex no long matters, he is already giving up rights to his child. I suggest you move away, possibly back in with your parents or a relative. Concentrate on a job, and providing stability for this baby. I doubt he will come after you, due to the fact he's too lazy to take legal action, he's making empty threats..However, I would take legal action of your own and nab him in child support, but cross that bridge when you get there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): His ex is being horribly cruel here. I really think that the best thing to do would be to consult solicitors as he is, and establish what your rights are. If you are feeling up to it, I think you should support him in his legal investigations, and if he hopes to go to court to help him. If the courts can enforce a situation where his ex is enjoined from making problems, that should allow your son to both have a stable situation and see his father.
Whatever you do - do not run away, and do not contact his ex. This situation looks rapidly set to become very legal, very quickly, and you should make sure you are above reproach. His ex's terrible behaviour should be the only thing the court sees.
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