A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A guy who lives about an hour away from me is coming to see me this weekend; this will be our first time meeting. That said, I just found out he still lives with his parents, and this worries me a bit. I'm 18 and in college, and he's 19 and a hs grad who's working a steady job. For whatever its worth, he's fronting the cost of coming here, and it was his idea to begin with--I do not support him in any way whatsoever, and I WILL not. None of that "hey, hunny, my truck broke down" BS for me....I realize that plenty of people live with their parents until their mid-twenties, but it seriously turns me off, mainly because of my POS brother who I often lived with growing up who would lie, cheat, and steal from my grandparents(and even from me) in order to get what he wanted, up until he went to jail when he was 22. I moved out of my parents house as soon as I possibly could, when I was 17, and have made it just fine on my own ever since. Quite honestly, when I found out he still lived with his parents I immediately started having second thoughts. . . . so what should I do about it? I know he has a steady job as an operator in a lumber yard (he showed me his last pay stub and he makes $15/hr and works full-time; I can totally live with that), and he owns his own boat and a reliable truck, but I do not, not, not, not want to end up dating some momma's boy who can't support himself. I'm independent, and I expect my man to be too. Should I still give this guy a chance? If I were older, out of college, and everything, I'd definitely say no but since I'm still in school and am not looking for "the one," (but rather, just some good memories and times with a good guy while I'm in Colorado), I'm willing to still consider and not hold it against him so much. What do you think?
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (29 July 2010):
 I'd say give it a chance. Also, you may want to find his motivation for living with his parents. Maybe one of them is sick and he's helping out. Maybe one of them lost their job, and he's helping them keep their house by paying some of the bills. You never know what motivates someone to do what they are doing until you get to know them better.
It's also alright to let him know your concerns about his living situation. I say, it all depends on his reasoning.
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (29 July 2010):
 Just give the guy a chance. I could see if he was just sitting at home not trying to do anything with himself. Maybe his parents need him there to help with the bills or something. You just never know until you give it a chance. but the minute you find out something crazy like his mom still makes his bed and washes his clothes or if he starts asking to borrow money... run for the hills!!
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