A
female
age
36-40,
*onfusedMuch?
writes:I've been living with my boyfriend for over 4 years. We have had our problems in the past, but we've both discussed them and moved past. Some days, he'll tell me he loves me, he wants to have children with me, and he wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me, and then other days he'll sleep in another room after having sex with me and tell me that he's not happy. I have noticed a trend with this as well, his unhappiness coincides with our finances. When we're broke, he's unhappy. When we have extra money, he's happy. He's told me that he suffers from depression, and yet he does not want to seek a treatment option. He seems to think that if he keeps doing the same thing, a different result will come. Whenever I suggest an option, he argues with me and shoots it down completely. I have been supportive of decisions that he's made, and things that he's wanted to do, but nothing changes. I don't know what to do. The past two nights now, he's slept on the couch. His reason for it is that he can't sleep in our room, he's just not comfortable on our bed. What should I do?!
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female
reader, ConfusedMuch? +, writes (29 July 2010):
ConfusedMuch? is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat is another thing that bothers me, the whole working more than one job idea. Throughout the first three years of our relationship, I've always had more than one job. Usually it was one full-time and one part-time, up until this last year when completely changed down to just one job. That is something that's not only unusual for me, but it has deeply affected our finances because the job I'm working at now doesn't provide me with very many hours. I feel as though I should get another job, but I am also a student and this job has been very good for me during the school season.
He has not worked at more than one job but once, and that was when he delivered newspapers as well as a 9-5, but I helped him most mornings, while working two jobs. Maybe I'm ranting and raving, but I feel as though I'm putting forth so much more effort than he is, and I don't think that it is fair.
A
female
reader, InLoveW/Love +, writes (29 July 2010):
This guy sounds really immature. If you don't want to put up with his mood swings then don't. Don't baby him or ask him whats wrong whenever he decides to sleep in another bed, especially after sex. He knows this is when you feel the most vulnerable. Just enjoy your time away from him and his depression. Read a book, pluck your eyebrows, if you have a TV in your room watch what you want to watch. Give yourself some good quality time. I wont say dump him because this is obviously the man you love. Just remember its not your job to fix anyone. If he doesn't want to help himself then there's nothing you can do.
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (29 July 2010):
 Let him figure it out. men usually equate his man hood with how successful he is. and it really is hard to be happy when you can't provide for your woman. so it's probably nothing against you just an ego thing i think.
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