A
female
age
36-40,
*lapure4
writes:My ex-boyfriend and I started talking again. For some reason, it seems to be a reoccurring thing where we’ll go for awhile without talking and then, he’ll re-enter my life. Under the circumstances, however, we’ve agreed to be friends. And that’s all that it can ever be until further notice. Since knowing him, we’ve had a rather unique long distance connection that’s lasted for more than seven years. After meeting him online seven years ago, we connected and chose to date long distance as long as one of us made a decision to move permanently. He relocated to my home state of GA to be with me and we dated for almost two years. Though, the relationship had its share of troubles, we kept it in perspective that sacrifices were being made to be together. It turned out that after the two year period, he moved back to NY to care for his mother who had emigrated from a foreign nation. And with both of us agreeing that we couldn’t withstand another long distance relationship, it soon faltered. We were heartbroken, and it was immensely hard for me to deal considering that he was my first love. Years passed where we dated other people but maintained contact as friends only. Every so often, we would flirt with the idea of becoming a couple again only if I made the sacrifice of moving for him. My dilemma was that I had been granted a wonderful writing opportunity with a magazine and didn’t feel it was worth giving up at that time. So I stuck with the new job and our hope of getting back together was further delayed. So fast forward to 2013, he just relocated to FL is geographically closer to me. He has a condo, a good job and seems to have his life on track. He recently asked me to come visit him and apart of me feels like this emotional rollercoaster between us has dragged out longer than it should have. And the other half is telling me that I really want to see him again after four years. He and I have both grown a lot and are starting to share more of ourselves. I have to admit that I love and care for him, but is this called backtracking or what? Is he worth seeing/visiting again after so long? I feel like its wrong to still have feelings for him after so long. Friends and family alike tell me that its not worth it, and that I should move on. I’d welcome all comments on this story. Thanks!
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flirt, heartbroken, long distance, move on, my ex, period Reply to this Question
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female
reader, klapure4 +, writes (25 March 2013):
klapure4 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hello Dear Cupid, I have a quick update on this long distance connection between myself and this guy I've known for more than seven years. I purchased a flight to see him for 4 days during the third weekend of May for a wedding he invited me to. I'm really excited to see him. However, I haven't told anyone in my immediate family and intend on keeping it that way until I know for sure how it goes between me and my ex. I don't want anyone to pressure me into thinking otherwise, or putting thoughts in my head that's its a lost cause situation. The only person I have told is one of my closest friends who knows a great deal about long distance relationships. She said she thinks I should go as long as I don't feel regrets afterward; and after purchasing the ticket I don't. I welcome all comments to this updated story. Thanks!
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 Hmmm... I have to disagree with the others here. What's done is done. It's history. Move on and find someone else.
Yes, I know, this sounds like one of those romantic Hollywood films. The problem is, Hollywood films are pure fantasy and have NOTHING to do with real life. I'm not surprised others here have said "go for it" and "what have you got to lose?". They've watched too many movies/serials.
Your friends and family are right in this case I would say.
If you really, truly wanted to be with him then you would've moved a long time ago, great job or not.
Fact is you weren't sure and, quite rightly, didn't move and decided your job was more important (sounds like a great one too!).
Not worth it. Move on. Personally, I wouldn't waste my time.
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A
female
reader, yupthatsme +, writes (13 January 2013):
My answer, is YES. Go see him. It has been four years, and what have you got to lose? The reward of going to see him is much greater than the downfall of what could come from it. If you do, who knows what amazing things could stem from it. Follow your heart. You both have grown up & you never know what greatness this could bring. Either way, its cliche but follow your heart. Personally, I would go.
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A
male
reader, shadowman6.7 +, writes (13 January 2013):
If you two still have feelings for eachother then go for it! and to hell with what everybody else thinks or says about it! its your life, do what your heart tells you. or you could just stay friends, eitherway, you should be able to do what you wanna do! whatever makes you happy! "live, laugh, love!"
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