A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone! I didn't know where else to get advice and you all always help me through everytime so I'm going to give it a whirl again.I am 20 years old going to be 21 in 3 months and I think I am going through baby fever! Everyone is having babies and I mean they are on their second or third one and I'm still just hanging out in the back with no baby! I am very jealous I can't take it anymore. I want a baby so bad. However there are some downfalls. I am SINGLE, overweight, have PCOS, Diabetes, high blood pressure and also have contracted herpes from my ex fiance (i had no clue and he obviously didn't tell me hence why we are no longer together).All these work against me and I don't want to put a baby at risk. But I also don't know if I can even get pregnant I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday and I am going to ask her to refer me to a fertility doctor to see what my chances are. I have a friend who wants to be commited to me and he wants to have a baby with me and I want the same but I am just worried what everyone may think of the situation. I feel like I am young but I feel like I am wasting time since I want a big family. I have raised a child before until she was 5. I was 14 at the time. I have worked in a daycare for three years and I just have the natural motherly instinct. I feel I am ready. I have enough money for a baby combined with the potential father. But I am just confused at what to do? Please help and please don't criticize. Thank you.
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fiance, herpes, jealous, money, my ex, overweight, want a baby Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mrswaldhauser  +, writes (15 January 2013):
 Are you sure you want to really do this? I know you really want a baby and feel you are ready but how disappointed are you going to feel if you meet an amazing man who you would love to spend the rest of your life with and have children with and you've already got a child with this other man? Please make yourself available for someone you love who can help you as much as possible. I know you've said you raised a child until they were 5 years old but you didn't give birth to that child. After you give birth there can be all sorts of complications: I know because I gave birth 7 weeks ago. I was very poorly, lost a lot of blood, had to have stitches and without my husband to help me get better over the last few weeks I don't know what I would have done as I was physically incapable of coping with the lack of sleep required to care for a newborn.
A
female
reader, jadedpearl +, writes (13 January 2013):
 I was on the same boat as you....I am 20 also, will be 21 in 6 months. A lot of the kids I graduated high school with are having children. I mean it is crazy. Some already have two babies. I would advise you to wait. Women can give birth to healthy children until their late thirties so you have a while to go. Also, why put your baby at risk with all of those health problems you have? Did you now children who are born to overweight parents are 90% likely to be overweight themselves? They might also develop diabetes as well. Take care of your body FIRST, find a suitable long term mate AKA HUSBAND to settle down with before you start having kids. Does your "friend" know you want a large family? You really do not want to have kids from multiple different men.
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A
female
reader, Dangerously Enthusiastic. +, writes (13 January 2013):
 I can't tell you to settle down and then try for a baby but I have to tell you that you should sort out some personal issues first. Go to the doctors and tell her about the herpes if you haven't already. Go jogging or buy something like Wii fit or cut down your meal sizes. Not what you eat. I really think you should be happy with you before you try to have a baby.
Good luck.
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