A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ive been seeing someone for over 3 months now. At the beggining everything was great and couldn't be happier. Recently his ex girlfriend who he has a baby with has been getting involved. Threatening me and saying she will always get him back because he loves her. Last week we had a fall out because a female friend of he's was at his house alone with him and he knows how much she likes him then she was claiming she was sleeping with him. The day after he ring me swearing that nothing happened and she's just a friend. He was asking me to get back together and that he was falling for me and doesn't want to lose me. Later that day he ring off his exs phone saying they was back together. Later that week he got in touch using his mums phone (he doesn't have a phone) saying she made him do it because she wouldn't let him see his daughter. He said he loved me and wanted to sort things out so we arranged to go for a drink on Sunday. He was texting me off his mums phone Friday night saying he was still on for Sunday. And now Sunday has come along he hasn't got in touch. I don't know of he's messing me about or if something had gone on today. If so he could of rung me off a pay phone. I just feel like he's making out to be a fool. All my friends say leave it because he's treating me bad. But when we're together he makes me feel so good and knows all the right things to say and I do believe that he loves me but would he treat me like this if he did? Please help I don't know what to do. I know he'll get in touch on Wednesday with an excuse. Should I give it another go or leave it? Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2012): "All my friends say leave it because he's treating me bad. But when we're together he makes me feel so good and knows all the right things to say and I do believe that he loves me . . ."
Your friends can see what he DOES while you prefer to listen to what he SAYS, even though what he DOES completely contradicts what he SAYS. Listen to what your friends SAY about what he DOES.
" . . . I do believe that he loves me but would he treat me like this if he did?"
No, he wouldn't. That's why your friends and Honeypie and YouWish and Wisdom and no nonsense Aidan and CindyCares and I shout unanimously RUN, DON'T WALK, RUN AWAY NOW!!!
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (14 May 2012):
He is so, soooo messing you about.
Being able to say the right things means nothing at all. Then, one has to DO the right things, and he is obviously not doing them.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (14 May 2012):
Ringing you to tell you he’s back with his ex, spending time alone with females that he knows like him, not bothering to turn up to sort things out with some-one he’s supposed to love, and you describing whatever reason he’ll come up with as an “excuse.” Walk away. This is no way to treat some-one and you should take the hard decision to get out now before you get more hurt.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Wisdom +, writes (14 May 2012):
Find the hills and RUN!
Its only been 3 months, you are young and seem smart.. Find someone else who has less drama going on!
Run away fast... do not stop to say goodbye just run!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 May 2012):
Let me try to be subtle here:
Run. Like. Hell.
Got it?
There is no future.
There is no respect.
There is no winning.
There is way too much baggage.
Your friends aren't idiots.
You will flush your life down the toilet.
Seriously, you're quibbling over his staying with another woman alone? You're wavering over his psychotic baggage ex?
No way! Sex isn't THAT good with someone to pay this high a price! Drop the human garbage.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 May 2012):
I think I would leave him and his drama llama circus of a life. I understand when a guy has a child the child should be first priority, but he makes you he 4th or 5th... Which is not right.
I would leave before YOU get more involved.
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