A
female
age
,
*ibres
writes:a few months ago i found a note in my husbands pocket written by a woman who works for him. I had helped him with some of his reports once and I knew her writing. It was very graphic talking about great orgasms. I confronted him and was told it wasn't to him, she had written it to her boyfriend and left it lying on her desk and he had picked it up so he could confront her about doing that at work and forgot to take it out of his pocket. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because she is dingy. and because even tho he works 10-12 hours a nite, 7 days a week I can call him anytime and he is always there and his paycheck reflects all the hours he is gone. However, last week I found another note that I swear is his writing that talks about getting an erection when he thinks of being inside her and her answer saying she hopes it good enough to make them scream each others name. I was furious and he denies it was him and is begging me to believe him. I'm just not sure. He works all nite and the company is highly monitored with cameras inside and out. Me sitting in the parking lot to watch if anything is going on is out of the question. What should I do?
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female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 Is there anyone at his work who you could ask to keep an eye on him? I know this sounds silly but it will cost less than paying a detective to do it! Plus if it sorts things out then its also a good option. Don't ask a man to do it though as they will probably run straight to your man and tell him your onto him.
A
female
reader, libres +, writes (21 November 2007):
libres is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the input and advice. He says the note was in his pocket because he is her supervisor and was going to show her the evidence when he talked to her about it and the just forget to throw it away. But I don't think this could or should happen twice. He swears it is not his handwriting and told me to ask her myself. Yea right, like that B hasn't been briefed. ha-ha. He says he loves me and there is nothing going on with her or anyone else and is begging me to believe him. I still have my doubts and mixed emotions.
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A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp +, writes (19 November 2007):
I think your husband is up to something here. I can probably believe the first note but where did this second note appear and why did he pick it up and not throw it in the bin straight away? I mean, what sort of person would pocket a note like that? He should have picked it up, read it if he had to and then thrown it away. What would be the sense in keeping it? Because he has had another note I think that he should just come clean. Tell him that if there is anything going on it will cost him your relationship. Tell him that if you find one more suspicious thing or hear anything about this other woman it's finished. If he's stupid enough to leave notes in his pockets he's certainly stupid enough to get caught again if he is misbehaving. I know he's your husband but you don't deserve to be cheated on. No one does and if your husband is cheating on you then he has gone against everything that your marriage stands for. He is disrespecting you and you don't deserve it. Make sure you tell him exactly what you think of the situation. Don't let this lie because if he is doing the dirty he will simply have to face the consequences.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): I went through a situation similar to this with my ex husband. He (even though he never openly admitted it) was having innapropriate conversations with a female work collegue of his. I found a note, purely by chance, that she had written to him. He denied, denied, denied of course! But it turns out they had been 'fantasising' over eachother. At the time, I didn't want to believe it and made all the excuses I could.
From an objective point of view, one note would have been enough to jog the imagination, but two?? They are certainly not very good at hiding their tracks.
Hope that helps :)
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (19 November 2007):
 These notes are not appearing out of thin air. I've never had a note like that and I don't know of anybody that has. I find it strange. Is he saying the note was planted in his pocket? I'd imagine yo might have something to worry about. If these people are cheating, they're not very smart.
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A
female
reader, pgissyd +, writes (19 November 2007):
 If you want to go really priverte eye on this one, you can get mini microphones, sew into his works jacket and recordeerything said, the only downside is you need to be somewhere nearby to get a good signal, although there are a lot of really good ones around. another idea is to get him a pn for xmas, make it something special that you would recognise the ink ifyou saw another note. However its unlikely you would see another note as if he is seeing her he will be extra careful from now on. You can also get mini cameras that work in the same way as the microphones. To be honest though I would simply go with your gut instict. Or you can just walk in to his workplace when his shift is about ten minites from finishing. If he is doing anything it would be when he is on break or at the end of the shift.
good luck, I hope you find out for sure one way or the other, its suspicion that kills relationships, not affairs xxxxx
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