A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello,My relationship is complex, but most relationships are. I am very sexually experienced, my gf is (was) not (ratio of partners was something like 40-1). This has always been a sore point. My girlfriend is 15 years younger than me and we have been dating for 4 years. the First year we were not exclusive, my choice, though she didn't agree. I hid all 5-6 girls from her (she has always confronted me and I have always denied). The second and third year we were exclusive. Great two years, we traveled all over, spent a lot of time laughing and getting to know what each other likes. The third year was also the start of a long distance relationship. The long distance relationship thing is tough, but I had a lot of love for this girl and the distance thing actually brought me closer because we worked on it. The fourth year she cheated on me. The distance thing was good and bad...the good, she would visit for extended periods of time, living with me for up to 5 months before returning to school. The bad, she was starting to discover how fun college live can be. Last week she told me that six months ago she cheated on me. This was during the shortest time period we were apart, 6 weeks. She told me right after she bought a $800 ticket for me to spend the holidays for three weeks with her family. She had started getting drunking and fucking this guy for about 3 weeks. She also admits to fucking one guy once at a party in the middle of this relationship with the other guy. I am trying to chalk this up to experimental. This is the reason she gives...she got drunk, wanted to see what fucking another guy was like. The reason she stopped is because she came to live with me for 4 months. Now, after spending the whole summer with me, and returning home, she has dumped this on me. I really wished she had kept it to herself. I had told her if she did anything at school...don't tell me, I didn't want to know and I would leave her. Her guilt was too greaat she says, and she wants to be forgiven and move on. We are still apart, and our future plans were to have her live in another country and finsh school and move to where I live in June. She now wants to move in with my feb/march. She is begging that I stay with her. I don't know if I can get the thought of her being out drinking and fucking out of my mind. She still has more time at school. I don't even know if I'm more pissed that she told me or that she did this. Has she called my bluff? Is she too chicken to break up with me herself? Should I leave her, or give her the second chance she is begging for? I am at a loss, anyone have any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): it sounds to me like you should part. You obviously dont love eachother if you do this to eachother. Once you have cheated once it is very hard to win the other persons trust back and you have cheated on her god knows how many times! did she give you anther chance? ...yes, get over yourself and wipe the slate clean! sit down with her and say you BOTH have to work at this relationship, no more cheating and start afresh, if it doesnt work this time round yo both eed to make a packed that you will both move on because if it happens again, you really cant be very good for eachother
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