A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I love your site and need some advice.My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We are both seniors in high school. I am 19 years old and my boyfriend will soon turn 18. We are both virgins. We have talked about sex but have not done it. When we have it we both want it to be with someone we care about and want it special. We both agree that it is natural and can be beautiful if it is done for the sake of love. We kiss, pet, and have made out but not done it. His 18th birthday falls on a Friday this year and I am having a birthday party for him. We will have some friends come over to celebrate. I have asked him what he wants for his birthday and he told me about a few non-sexual things that he would wish for. I think that he would really like to have sex on his 18th birthday. I know I would. My parents will be way on business for the weekend of the party. This seems like a great time to express our love to each other physically. I would like to give him the gift of sex for his birthday. I have several questions. Maybe you could answer them. Could you give me some advice of what to wear at the birthday party that I am having? I want to give him a hint of what is to come but do not want to over do with the other guest at the party. Is there a way I can give him hints without the others seeing? When the party is ending how do I get the other people to leave without my boyfriend leaving? I do not want it make it obvious to the other what is going on. How should I let my boyfriend know that I am ready and would like to have sex with him? We have talked about sex. Should I let him know of my wishes before the party? How? When the other guest leave how can I turn the topic to a sexual nature? Should this be done through giving him a note? What should the note say? Should this be done through speaking? What should be said? Should this be done through action? If so what? I believe that loving sex begins before getting naked. What kind of activities should be done before getting naked? What kinds of kissing should be done before getting naked? Should I start with a soft kiss or dive into a passionate one? What parts on a clothed body should I kiss? Where would he like to be kissed?How long should we kiss before getting naked?How will we know when it is time to remove our clothes? Should I ask him to undress or just undress him? Should we undress in the bedroom or can we strip in route? Should kissing be involved in undressing? If so, how?Should talking be done while we are kissing and undressing? What should be said?We have not seen each other naked. What should be done when we get done undressing? How can I make the bedroom romantic? What can I do to move us to the bed? What activities should we do as part of foreplay? Where on his naked body should I kiss? Is there an order that he would enjoy? How much touching and kissing should be done before I move to his penis? How will I know when to move down to his penis? How will I know where and how he likes to be touched? How should I let him know where I would like to be touched and kissed?How long should foreplay last?How will we know when it is time to move to intercourse? How can I take the lead? Should it be done through speaking, action, or both? Is there a way to know when he is ready?Can you suggest a position for the first sexual experience?If we want to change sexual positions can you suggest other positions and give advice on how to switch to these without being awkward? How do I tell if he is enjoying it?Should talking be part of the sexual experience? What should be said? How long does the first intercourse experience last?What can be done after intercourse? What do men like to do after it?How do we tell if our love making was good or bad?How can I suggest making love again in the morning? Thank you for answering my question. I look forward to your reply.Sincerely,Lexi Walburg
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both virgins, foreplay, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): You are either kidding or you are NOT ready to have sex. We're not mind-readers, honey. How do we know what your boyfriend will like sexually, if you don't? You're over-analyzing it. Which is just potentially going to make it awkward.Good luck there. Give it a thought please.
A
female
reader, elliebellie  +, writes (12 November 2007):
wow!! loads of questions...im not that experienced in the sex department but i know a lot of it happens naturally. so thats all the sex questions answered. just go with the flow. to hint at your boyfriend......when everyone starts leaving and he does too tell him quietly not to leave becasue his biggest present is yet to come!! excite him!lolelliexxx
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Okay - WOW you have a lot of question.
Thing is, you really need to relax. You are over-thinking this, and by doing this, you may turn this situation into an awkward one.
You have the right idea. Lots of kissing - en route to the bedroom - passionate kissing and caressing while you undress, and you will definitely KNOW when you are ready for foreplay and then intercourse. There are no firm rules, and this is one you will need to figure out by yourselves.
Just remember, that you guys love each other, and also - this is meant to be a Fascinating and Fun experience. It WILL come naturally.
Good luck
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