A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HiIm a single guy and would like some advice. On 04/12/06 I started chatting with a girl nearby in a chat room. Anyway we hit it off instantly and after a couple of weeks she asked to meet me. However I still haven’t met here. Every time we come close something happens at the last minute so she can’t come. I really want to be with her but the catalogue of ‘unfortunate’ incidents in her life seems to prevent this happening here is a list of the scenarios that has arisen:-Initially she couldn’t make it two or three times in the corresponding week as she had family problems.The next time she couldn’t make it due to illnessThe next time it was due to her having to look after her sisters children then she was ill againThen she had to go down to the midlands to look after her brothers childrenThen her car was impounded due to her car not being road legalThen she couldn’t make it because she had a chest infectionThen she had to look after her sister whom had been attackedThen she couldn’t make it as her gran had diedThen she couldn’t make it as she had to go back to her house due to a break in Baring in mind we chat every day ive spoken with her brother and we even talk until the early hours on the phone and send each other hundreds of text messages.Should I give her an ultimatum or just stick it outKind regards J
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female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (25 February 2007):
 HI
You have been e-mailing with this woman for a year now and after only two weeks she was the one to suggest you both meet up and yet she is the one who has given excuss after excuss, she is obviously avoiding meeting you but what her reasons are I don't know but it certainly isn't the reasons that she is giving you.
She probably freaks out at he last minute either because she is terrified your not going to like what you see or she is extremley shy face to face or she has a partner!!!!!
You need to be frank and ask her let her know all the febble excusses are not going to work anymore be delicate about it because she could be petrified if she is shy or scared your not going to like what you see
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (24 February 2007):
 Well, she's avoiding you, that's for sure. It's possible that maybe there's something she doesn't want you to know, but maybe she's just really nervous about actually meeting you. Maybe she's a little scared, or maybe she knows that your relationship is so good - why ruin it by meeting? She might have all kinds of fears: "maybe i'm not pretty enough.", "maybe he won't like me once we meet.", etc.
You could just ask her what makes her nervous about meeting you.
Or there's always the possibility of her being married or something like that, but if you're talking to her brother as well, I doubt it. Sounds like a case of bad nerves.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (24 February 2007):
 I think it's quite obvious she's making excuses NOT to meet with you. She's either really scared it might spoil what she has already with you or she's with someone else. You'll need to do your own detective work here.
Let her know you know something's not right. Ask her outright... "what are you frightened of?" Suggest another meeting, tell her you don't want ANY excuses this time. Have you seen a picture of her? Do you know where she lives? Go out and watch her house, see if there is a significant other that she shares her home with. You will get to the bottom of it soon enough though, it's only a matter of time but she is DEFINITELY avoiding meeting up with you for some reason...
Eve
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