A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey quick question .... I Have a friend with benefit/sex buddy. Were both single, I'm single because I can't find a Guy. Its like the guys That are my type are GONE! I wish I could but I've been single for years. Even tho I'm only 20 lol. I've had 1 boyfriend but I was 17 and blah. So yea I started having sex with my fwb when I was 18 and it last a couple of months. So we stopped, and I was hurt but cool about it. I mean he wasn't my boyfriend so yea. I was having fun, working and tryin to stay busy. But during that tme I wasn't haven't sex. So now its been a year and some months now and its on my mind non stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its like hard now. I know I should be thinking about my future but sex is on my mind! So now me and my fwb are cool but I think (I think, he said he was thinking about it ) _and he's not turning me down neither fyi_ he's getting a girlfriend, I'm not jealous or hurt nor sad. But I really want to have sex with him. I know its wrong but me pleasing myself is NO good! Ive been doing that for the longest and no. So my questine is should I get back withmy fwb? Because its clear that I'm not getting a boyfriend so why not be sexual happy? Are don't touch him? Because if he do have a girlfriend now I know it would be sooo wrong. And if me and my fwb was dating I wouldn't want himto cheat on me. I feel bad for thinkin this too.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 October 2011):
 It' very easy to get stuck in the rut with a FWB because it's easy. Easy is not always better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for answering.
But the title also says that he MAY have a gf.
I understand what you both are saying and I don't want to hurt anyone. That's not me. But Just To let you know he is single So its no biggie now.
And I agree on meeting new ppl but saying I'm Not a very nice person was not nice but its ok :) I understand what u were saying. But I did some thinking and I wouldn't pass on a new Guy, why would I pick my fwb over a boyfriend?! Heck noooo!
But thanks again... I agree with you both
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 So you are saying it is better to hurt another person than be alone? It is better to be part of an affair, be part of cheating, than it is to be alone? It is better to betray another person, breaking their heart, just because you are lonely?
If that is really what you think then it is no wonder you cant get a boyfriend, you are not a very nice person and need to take a good look at yourself and your morals.
Find some new hobbies, new friends, spend more time with family etc - they are all appropriate things to do when you are lonely. Sleeping with another girl's boyfriend is NOT ok, stop being so selfish and think about this before you start anything stupid and hurt other people.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (14 October 2011):
To me seems like more trouble to be Fwb with someone who wants or might have a gf.
I think if that is all you want in a guy then there are plenty out there, I don't know what is wrong with meeting new people. I don't really agree with the "its better to have something than nothing" because then it feels like a quick fix? Something like that would partially fix the problem but the problem would still be there and might even hit u harder. Just date some guys and meet some new people. I don't know what you are waiting for if you have been single for sooo long.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for answering my question.
But I don't think my standards are too high.
I just want a just that I think look good, who's nice, no kids, like to have fun, ect that's not too much.
And my fwb guy I don't want to back track with him but I just don't want to be alone any more longer. I'm always alone! I work and I start school soon but I'm still goin to be alone. And its hurting me so that another reason why I want him back. Plus he's the 2nd guy I've had sex with. Its better to have something besides being alone all the time. And my friends be busy with their boyfriends so I can't hang with them :/
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2011): Show me a woman who can't find her kind of man, and I will probably show you a woman whose standards are too high. There are plenty of single men out there.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 October 2011):
 Men with girlfriends should be off limits.
I am sure that there are many men out there that don't have girlfriends that would be willing to act as your NSA sex partner if that's what you want.
But I sense that perhaps you want a BOYFRIEND not just a FWB... in that case you need to rethink how to find someone.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 Why can't you be sexually happy with a single guy ?
I mean, if it's just for sex, no relationship, no feelings involved, ...it should not be that difficult to hook up with some other guy who is as single and horny as you. So you get your dues and don't interfere with the happy couple.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 October 2011):
No, he has a GF. Why would you want to have sex with a guy you know is taken?
Grow some morals.
If you want a guy just for sex, go find some single stud.
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A
male
reader, Xearo +, writes (12 October 2011):
You should try to lower your standards and start dating other guys. You need to take chances in life else you will just get no where.
If he has a gf then it is without doubt that what you do with him will be wrong. If it doesn't bother that what you do with him will be wrong then you are being selfish and you will end up unhappy.
Being fwb with someone seems fun and exciting sometimes but I have been there myself. I think it is the perfect excuse to avoid commitment and now that I look back, I was such coward to try something new with someone and make fun of anyone that I might be interested in. To some extent it was becoming an addiction and I was almost unable to give it up.
In the end it is better to make choices that will not hurt yourself as well others.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (12 October 2011):
If he has a girlfriend then no, dont get back with him. It is not fair on the new girlfriend to do this, as you said yourself if you were in her position you wouldnt want to be cheated on so as much as you might really want sex, it is not worth the pain it will cause his new girlfriend.
If you really want a FWB have you not got any other male friends you could approach?
And one other thing - it sounds like the reason you cant find a boyfriend is because you are too picky - you shouldnt have a 'type' otherwise you are limiting yourself way too much. Try being more open to other men who may not be your usual type, you never know they may just surprise you. Yes you have to be physically attracted to someone, but if you can compromise on a few things then that is worth doing. For example, say you like tall men and dont normally date a man who is under 6ft. But then you meet a guy who is tall, say 5ft 10, but not as tall as you usually like - you are attracted to him but the height thing is your main problem. That is the perfect situation to give him a chance - just because a guy doesnt tick every box on the list doesnt mean he isnt a great guy and that your relationship would be terrible.
So maybe broaden your horizons a bit, be more open and try dating a guy who you wouldnt normally class as your type. You will be far more successful that way!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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