A
female
 ,
*mberBambi
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I am ment to be going back to my home country [Australia] for Christmas this year. The trip will be about 5 weeks in total and im not sure how my boyfriend will react when i tell him. I havent seen my family for over 2 years and my Nan is getting very old now and I dont think she has long left, also my Uncle is Aus has been diagnosed with cancer. I am 18 years old and he is 20, and we both have trust issues. Last time i went back to Australia he met up with his ex which i didnt find out about until a few months after, and he blamed it on missing me. I dont want to leave him for 5 weeks, but i want to see my family also. I have a bad feeling he is going to flip about this and say it is over. Should i be feeling guilty?
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female
reader, seenitdoneit +, writes (17 August 2006):
Tell him you are going and if he is worth keeping then he won't mind at all. Five weeks isn't very long. A compromise could be that he go with you, if that is possible.
A
female
reader, Tine +, writes (17 August 2006):
 no you shouldnt be feeling guilty at all - this is your family you are talking about and by the sounds of it your boyfriend was just using you as an excuse when he met up with his ex. If he really missed you that much he wouldve been phoning you non stop not going with someone else. It sounds as though you do really miss your family and i dont blame you, not seeing them for 2 years would kill me, as family play a big part in my life. If your boyfriend doesnt understand then hes being really selfish. Its only 5 weeks out of the whole year he gets to spend with you
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (17 August 2006):
 No! You should most definitly not be feeling guilty. You have every right to see your family and he has no right to guilt you into staying here, when it sounds like some of your family need you.
If there is no trust in this relationship when you two are apart, you need to think whether or not this is going to work out. If he gets with other girls when you're not here then makes excuses for doing so, you can spend your life following him round just to make sure he's behaving! Your family need you and he needs to grow up and understand that.
If he kicks up a fuss, you need to tell him: it's time the relationship gained some trust or you're ending it. It's a waste of both your time if this carries on.
Talk to him. Don't ask him if you can go, tell him you are going and he has to accept this. If he moans or does something when you're not there, you know he has to go!
How guilty would you feel if someone in your family died and you never got to say goodbye, all because your spoilt little brat of a guy wouldn't let you? Don't let him rule your life. Maybe some time away from him will make you see what he really is.
Good luck
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