A
female
age
30-35,
*iss sunshine
writes:Hello everybody,I need some advice so i turn to you. I am in a relationship with a good person for 2 and a half years. We've had our ups and downs, as everybody i guess, but every time we managed to get through it. I am 20 he is 21 and we've lived together the last year. We are going throught a very difficult phase. We have some money problems, he works two jobs and i have my exams of university in 1 month, all that results to a lot a lot of stress. We never see each other even if we live together because we have different schedules, so when we eventually see each other for a couple of hours at home we only talk about the things we have to do, or the things we have to pay. We fight a lot more and we dont have a good sex life. He seems very cold and he isnt the romantic guy he used to be. Well, to make a long story short, in the past we managed every time to get through our problems, but this time is different and it is the first time during our relationship i started thinking of other men. I have been in contact with an old love of mine without the knowledge of my boyfriend (since he dissaprouves talking with my ex) but its only throught instant messaging since we live in different countries. I think i have started having feelings for this other guy and while chating the other night we had a very very strong moment where both of us were feeling something so weird but beautiful in the same time! The thing is that now i am stuck. I know i love my boyfriend but i dont know if im still in love with him and no matter how much i try to fix our problems he doesnt seem to want to give it a try. On the other hand it is impossible to be with the other guy since we live in different countries and i am not sure if i should even think of leaving my boyfriend for him. I could use a piece of advice so please can someone tell me what should i do? Should i save my relationship and how or should i go for the other guy?
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different countries, money, my ex, sex life, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miss sunshine +, writes (22 April 2010):
Miss sunshine is verified as being by the original poster of the question Maybe you are right. But it is so hard to just let go of my boyfriend because we have been together for so long and even if i lost my interest now after all the problems, there are so many things we lived together and it is difficult. But i'll think of what you said. Thank you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Have you ever considered a third alternative ? Like,letting go of both guys and be on your own for a while ?
You are not in love with first guy anymore and it seems to me it's a waste of energy tryng to save a relationship which basically does not fulfill you. The relationship with the second guy is not gonna lead anywhere because you live in different countries and I suppose you want something more than e-mails in your love life.
So apparently neither one is good choice.
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