A
male
age
41-50,
*ndy21
writes:I've been in a relationship just over a year now, it's a rocky relationship at best and more then once has nearly ended but that's not the problem.....A few weeks ago I went back to college and I met this other girl in college. We haven’t slept together or anything, we haven’t even spoken so there's been no cheating going on at all behind my girlfriends back I would never do that. But since I saw this girl in college we have been making eyes at each other and she's been flirting with me in that way. I do love my girl friend but for some reason since I saw this girl in college I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her.Myself and my girl friend do fight a lot and we have both agreed the we are not a great match but were trying to make it work. I just feel that we are staying together for the sake of not being alone and I get the feeling she feels the same but at the same time I'd hate to hurt her.From what I know about this girl in college we are a better match. I'm not going to pursue anything whit that girl while I'm with my girl friend.I just don't know what to do next,Please help.......
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female
reader, dontworryiknow +, writes (9 November 2007):
 mate lisen dont worry you will always have crush's but around one year can always be a toughy keep its going with the girlfriend and let this other girl know your involved, dont split or cheat be stong and keep it working.
A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I almost wrote in Spanish! lol
Here we go... I think you have two separate issues. I don't believe you should end a relationship because you are making eyes with someone else, I think you should end it because you think (and apparently she does too) it is not working. I would have a talk with the current gf and analyze the pros and cons of the relationship and the real reasons for being together. If you decide to end the relationship, I would not pursue the new girl just yet. After every serious relationship is important to take some time to evaluate what was right and what was wrong and things that need to be worked on.
Also, give yourself the time and space (as to your current partner) to grieve the loss of the current relationship. Even if things are not great, you've spent a lot of time together and you need to properly cut emotional ties before entering a new relationship.
best of lucks!
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Well the decision lies with you at the end of the day.If you dont love your girlfriend,or your arguing all the time,then it sounds to me like this relationship has run its course.Your already making eyes with someone else,so it looks like you have made your mind up already.You just dont want to hurt your girlfriend,but really,it would be much kinder to break it off with her,then end up,going behind her back.
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A
female
reader, uhuh...right  +, writes (9 November 2007):
I say give it a shot. I'm one to believe that you can either end up living with someone that you "can live with" or living with someone that you "can't live without". To be "forever", you have to really respect each other deeply. Doesn't sound like either of you respect each other enough to stop arguing. Seems you would want more than that for her and she would want more than that for you. Maybe you should be honest with her and give her the chance to maybe try "other waters" too. Maybe you'll both find that you are not made for each other ... maybe you will both find that your ARE made for each other ... maybe only one of you will have this realization. No matter, you will get to the bottom of it. No need to waste time. That's my opinion. Besides, what's your other choice? Stay with her, marry her and always wonder if you should've pursued a more pleasant relationship?
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