A
female
,
anonymous
writes: my bf treats me like a slave, it used to be good but hes showing his true colours he is a sponger and has no respect for me. but i was out last week and a guy was flirting rith me and i spoke to him and he treated me like a human being, he is a friend of a friend and apparently he is lovely, he is what hasmade me realise how badly my bf treats me, we are going on holiday next week shall i see how that goes than decide whether to dump him ofnot or should i do it strait away, i do love him but how can i be in a relationship when they dont respect me and somone ive only just met a couple times treats me nice than my long term bf?? please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much youve really given me the confidence to take the plunge and get out before its to late
A
female
reader, Danielle934 +, writes (23 April 2006):
I agree with everything Country Woman has to say. There is just one thing I want to ask... have you tried talking to your BF about how he is treating you and how it makes you feel? I only ask because you said that you recently realized how he treats you. Sometimes the person who is being wrong does not know that they are until you point it out, just like you did not realize you were not being treated right until someone treated you differently. This happens a lot in relationships, because you have been together for so long every thing becomes routine. If you did not point out to him that you don't like the way you are being treated, then he could have just gotten used to it and hasn't crossed his mind. Someone will always keep on doing something if they can get away with it!
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A
male
reader, antonio +, writes (23 April 2006):
You say you still love your bf - so it must be worth sitting down and talking to him about how you feel. If he loves you he'll do his best to treat you with more respect and stop sponging.. if he doesn't then you have to accept you're not right for each other. Maybe ask yourself how you'd feel if he finished with you - if you'd be devastated then the relationship is worth saving, but if you'd feel relieved, then accept it's over & tell him - then you're free to pursue this other guy.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (23 April 2006):
I think the real question here is whether you think the holiday is really worth going on with someone you don't want to be with.
I think it also depends on if you need the break and if the holiday is just for a week or longer.
At the end of the day no one deserves to be treated like a slave and you already know you don't want to be with your b/f.
If life with him is making you miserable then get out but when you decide. I am not saying that you should lead your b/f up the garden path just to go on holiday with him but if you have paid for it then you should at least get your moneys worth. That may sound cold but I'm just being honest.
I think putting funds to one side it really does depend on whether you think you can tolerate being with your b/f somewhere away from familiar surroundings, especially if you have an argument etc.
Whatever you decide I think you will definitely be better off with him from what you have said.
BFN
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2006): hi. if your bf is treating you as badly as you said then you need to tell him before you go away. just sit him down and tell him what he is doing to you that makes you feel like a slave. try not to get in a slanging match becuase it will make things worse. and if at the end of it he cant see what he is doing then you should finish it. there is no point in waiting until you come back from holidays because there will only be another reason for you to put it off. no one should treat anyone like a slave and he needs to be told. he does not deserve to be with anyone if he has no respect.i hope this has helped and hope that everything works out for you.
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