A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend isnt sympathetic when i am on my period, should i dump him ?. He calls me moody and says that he wont put up with the way i am every month when its my time of the month. I get severe cramps and it really gets me down. I know men dont understand what it is like, but i still think he should be sympathetic. What should i do ?.
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female
reader, sheklove  +, writes (1 January 2013):
Whover wrote period cramps don't deserve sympathy must be a male or a female taking a ton of hormones causing her to have a very light insignificant period. For some women period pain is dehibilitating. I have passed out from the pain. Even on the best months it is very painful. I don't sit and feel sorry for myself or illicit attention because of it but when the pain is really bad sometimes it takes over me and I have to grip something and make sounds of pain and lie down. And ill tell you what if a stranger on the street looked to be in that kind of pain I would have sympathy for them and that much more if it was my boyfriend. Your boyfriend should have sympathy, patience and kindness whenever you are in pain. To the person who made the coment about how women have been dealing with this for centuries and it isn't something that you should want support with, women have been dealing with it through the support of their loved ones including their male partner!!! My boyfriend makes me hot tea without asking because he can see I am in pain and wants to help me!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2011): I know exactly how you feel...my boyfriend is the exact same. He doesn't believe in period pain, even though he knows I have an IUD, which is basically a chunk of metal stuck in my womb which causes ridiculously debilitating cramps. You should do what I do: tell him to imagine a muscle cramp, you know one of the ones you get in your leg and arm that really hurt? now tell him to imagine that last that for hours at a time, and ask him if he wouldn't be moody and cranky1
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): At the minute he isnt talking to me until my period is over.I dont know how he would go on if we were living together and saw me like this every month.i wouldnt always be able to get out of his way then and if i was pregnant i would probably be moody more often ! I've never been pregnant but i know you can be ill a lot and moody.i am 27,and he is 26.we are both very inexperienced dating and sexually etc. I'll write more soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): When I am being moody due to my period my husband will say, "You're being moody," and that's a sign for me that I'm not just being moody but also being overly dramatic and need to calm down. Cramps are terrible, hormone surges are bad, but I am still an adult and should know that my mood does effect others. So in my situation when he says that, then I take it as cue to take a break and try to relax. Also, men have periods, too. Maybe they don't bleed, no cramps, or fatigue, but they do get their monthly moody phase. So if this guy doesn't want to deal with monthly moodiness, he should go be a hermit in the woods. My advice is to just let him know you're on your period, but otherwise don't discuss it. Most men would rather not know much about it, anyway. But if he becomes a jerk making inappropriate comments without any reason (let's say you walk into the room and he lays into you, just beacuse you're on your period,) then re-evaluate the relationship.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 What exactly would you like him to say or do when you're on your period? Of the two of you you're the expert and if, after all these years of having them, you still don't know how to make it easier for yourself, how is he supposed to?Menstruation is a natural, biological function that millions of women around the world experience every month. It can be very uncomfortable and certainly inconvenient, but it isn't an illness that requires special attention and sympathy. And woman can't have it both ways. They cannot argue they're just as logical and rational as men are and yet be prone to emotional meltdowns every 28 days.Besides, men are seldom sympathetic to anything that doesn't effect them personally. Instead of seeking comfort from someone who doesn't understand, look for more reliable alternatives to get you through it. Changing your diet, exercising and pain medication have all been proven to drastically reduce cramping and bloating associated with menstruation. Stay home and pamper yourself or spend time with women friends. You wouldn't want to be with your boyfriend if he spent a week out of every month being moody. Don't begrudge him not wanting to be around your mood swings.He doesn't have much patience for life's every day aches and pains. Fine. That philosophy also applies when he has a headache or upset stomache. No special attention or sympathy for him either.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Unless he can borrow your uterus, he will not understand what you go through. Maybe you are being unreasonable during your PMS times?
What do other people say about your personality/actions/mood during that time? When I was younger and had bad PMS, I withdrew from others if I could not control myself.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Unless he has a period himself (which isn't possible), then he's never going to give you the sympathy you want. Guys will never comprehend periods and what it all entails.
In all honesty are you really that bad around your time of the month? I mean I can be a beeyatch the first 2 days of mine, but the next 3 days I'm fine.
I find it strange that he's not accustomed to women's periods. As this is something he will be dealing with the rest of his life. Is he around your age range? Maybe he just lacks dating experience.
How long is your period? 5-7 days? If he can't handle your moodiness then tell him when your period is and just spend time apart for the next 7 days. That way you don't have to deal with his insensitiveness and he doesn't have to deal with your mood swings. You can find the comfort you need in those menstrual pain patches for cramps, Midol, chocolate, or even your female friends.
I don't believe this is grounds for a break-up.."I dumped my boyfriend because he couldn't deal with my period" sounds pretty silly. Ultimately, it's your call.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (9 September 2011):
YES! This will only get worse with time... boot him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): I'd say dump him. I mean unless you can get the guy to understand how much a period sux, yea. And every woman goes through it every month. So if he wants to find a girl that isn't moody once a month, then he should give up and just go gay. Lolz. But yea. I think he needs to have more sympathy for you. If he doesn't like it, stay out of Ur way for a week. Or just be extra nice. But if he can't understand that, he is to mch of a little kid and you should dump him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): We all get moody, but guys have problems too. Maybe you should gently explain what a period is like and ask that he be a little more sympathetic, and as a compromise you can take a midol. Best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): He obviously doesn't understand periods, not a lot of men do. When I first met my boyfriend he had no idea what a period was! He just knew women bled from there but didn't know why, I had to explain everything to him and why. I used to have extreme server cramps also before I went on the pill, I'd sometimes be in tears! I remember my boyfriend saying the once, it can't be that bad surely, I be being kicked in the balls is A LOT worse. He'll never experience what it is like, same as you won't with the whole 'ball ache/pain' thing. So when he's in pain from down there, you'll probably think he's over exaggerating like he thinks you are. You should just explain to him how much it hurts and if he wants to be with you he will put up with it. I think it was very insensitive and immature what he said, perhaps say that to him too. If he really does want to be with you, he WILL put up with it.On a side note also, I think you should consider going on the pill. The period pains will stop AND the moodyness, on an even upper side also you'll be protected against pregnancy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Dump him.. Can you imagine if you at some point got married and pregnant with this dofus?
He sounds like an ignoramus.
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (9 September 2011):
For ur cramps try working out regularly especially the week prior. Do some walking or jogging about 2 miles a day. Drink plenty of water n eat lots of iron. If it bothers u while ur own.....masterbate. I know it may sound gross but the contractions of the orgasm relieves the pain of the cramps. After the orgasm take a long bath. And u should feel great the rest of the day... The longer the masterbation the fewer the cramps so if u can last the pain will not. Before work school etc is ideal bc it gets u through the day. Heating pads also work well, as well as icy hot on the abdomen. I sometimes never feel pain since I've been working out n masterbating regularly when I'm on and mines used to be severe. But as far as ur bf, he's inconsiderate and being a real ass about this. Hopefully my advice works for u. Best wishes
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (9 September 2011):
Well yeah he should be a bit more sympathetic tbh!
But if you suffer really bad period pain/mood swings, you should perhaps try taking something for it (ask at a chemist or your gp).
Most men (apart from CaringGuy!) ;-) don't understand what it feels like (you know we get colds, they have man flu etc etc!!
(and there is nothing worse than when your just moody for a reason (other than blob), to hear 'Oh is it THAT time of the month!! arrrrggghhh!!) x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 September 2011):
I have to say, it doesn't sound like he's really got his head around what a period is. As a woman once said to me, a period for a man would be like being kicked in the balls for a week non-stop. I imagine I'd be a bit moody and depressed too, to be honest.
I think for him to say you're moody is one thing. It's entirely another for him to say he won't put up with it every month. If he actually wants to be with you, he HAS to put up with it. Doe him to be saying he won't put up with it is massively immature and shows him up as a little boy in a man's world (or woman's world, depending on how you see it!).
I would say that perhaps you're more committed than he is, and that you need to look at this relationship as a whole to see what he's really like towards you. He doesn't seem mature enough to really handle a relationship.
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