A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had a long distacne relationship whilst my boyfriend was at uni but he two timed me 3 times. I forgave twice. We split up after the 3rd time for a year and got back together after he finished uni. I recently heard that he took a girl back to his friends flat after a night out. I just don't know what to do - he said he had wised up - i really love him and dont want to lose him - but i know i deserve better. Should i just dump him even though he is my first love - i dont want anyone else. Also ive tried to get him to admit to taking the girl back but it was his best friend that told his girlfriend who told me so im sworn to secrecy. Do cheaters always cheat if they think they can get away with it? ps our sexual relationship is pretty non existant at mo because of trust issues. Do you think im just the wrong girl for him cos if i was right he wouldn't be looking at other girls?? His best friend also has said that he will always cheat on me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): WOW!!! So scary........I just got out of the EXACT same situation....three time cheater....he loves me.....wants to marry me and spend his life with me.....had 'changed' after the second time.....I thought it was my fault that he cheated...I wasn't enough...I found out later he cheated again...only difference is it wasn't long distance.
I know how you are feeling. I understand. And I am still not over the guy. He was my first love, and well, many firsts.... And I still love him, and he loves me. But love isn't enough. Relationships are about respect and trust as well.
He lost respect for you, how else could you hurt someone you love. As a result, you lost all trust and respect in him. You know that you dont trust him. And that you are slowly losing all respect for him. He does love you. You do love him. He will miss you. You will miss him. You will crave each others company and think back to all the good times. But good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. You have to leave him out of respect for yourself. Love yourself.
IT WILL NEER BE THE SAME AGAIN! your relationship is so broken, is it really worth trying to save?
I left him two weeks ago. I am still sad, but, every day gets better and both you and I and others like us deserve to be treated so much better and give our love and care to someone worth it.
Fooled me once, shame on me. Fooled me twice, shame on me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): GET RID OF HIM!! you deserve tons better and i'm sure you'll find it.You dont need this.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Leave him. How many more times are you going to allow him to show a lack of respect for you?
Long distance relationships CAN work, but they absolutely cannot if one half of the couple is two timing! It just can't.
Please don't let this guy continue to hurt you. You deserve so much better, and somebody out there will love you, and treat you with the respect that you have the right to have as a human being.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (1 November 2007):
 I think you need to end this because if you have forgiven him before he is going to think that you will forgive him again and again, you dont deserve to be treated like this i think the best thing to do is just let him go and find someone you can trust and love
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): I think you already kno the answer to this one and that is to dump him and move on... He's cheated on you in the past and he knows how much he has hurt you but he still carries on doing it?? Why waste your time on a guy like him? There's plenty of others out there who will treat and respect you!!!
My ex boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, I found out and forgave him at first but then found out he started seeing her again behind my back. That was it, no more chances, I packed my bags and off I went!!! I didn't wait around for any of his pathetic excuses. We were 2gether for 9 years!!! Don't waste anymore of your life on him.
I often think back about the "what if's etc" and wonder where would I be now if stayed?? I think I would have been worse off than I am today and certainly made the right move to dump him when I did. There's dozens more guys out therre - you just got just find them :)
Best of luck with everything
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): this guy obviously doesnt respect you if he's cheated on you 3 times. yes, he's your first love so he's special but you're young and there'll be plenty more. i hope you find someone! good luck! :) x
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 You know your answer - it is just a really difficult one to face. First love is a beautiful, and mostly devastating experience. It's been 6 years since i broke it off with my first love (3 year relationship), and i sometimes still miss him - but not in the same way i use to.
You did the right thing by forgiving him the first time, but honestly, 3 more times??? I don't think so. Love yourself - you are right, you deserve better. The physical universe around you (in the form of friends) are also telling you in words that he will never stop cheating. Do you really want to be with a guy like that? This guy does not deserve your love.
Good luck... May you find a wonderful guy who will love and care for you.
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