A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a long distance relationship with an incredible lady. She's my best friend and I'd love it if one day we were more. At one time we used to talk everyday, sometimes several times a day. Over the last couple months as her work has increased and her time is limited (she also is raising two kids alone), we've talked less on a regular basis. That doesn't bother me, I understand. But one thing that does bother me, is 80-90 percent of the time if we talk, I'm the one who initiates it. Since the last time I saw her (10 days ago), I've sent several emails and have only gotten one reply (an email that said "thank you"). She went for elective (outpatient) surgery early this week. My last email to her wished her the best on her procedure and asked her to email me when she was feeling better. On the one hand I'm tired of always being the one to contact her and feeling that maybe I'm being needy or clingy. On the other hand, I don't want her to think that I forgot about her or don't care how her procedure went. Should I try to contact her now with an "how are you?" note or should I wait a few more days, maybe another week to see if she responds to my email?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I would have waited. I thought about sending an email but since she seems to favor her phone lately (voice and text), I called instead. Got her VM, which unfortunately happens more often than not, and left a brief message saying I was thinking of her and hope she's feeling well.
I guess I'll leave it up to her from here.
A
female
reader, lil ladyy  +, writes (5 February 2010):
 well it seems that she has a lot on at the mo .... u should prob email sayin how r u hope uu gd and eveything went well and stuff bt then leve it and let her get back to you cuz leveing severl is a bit clingy and no-1 likes osme1 clingy soo just email soo u k n let her get back to you bt giv her time as well bcuzz shes prob busy wiv everything and all but good luck hope wrks out and hpeed i helped x
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (5 February 2010):
 If she's had surgery, she truly may not be feeling very well yet, especially trying to take care of 2 children. It would be sweet of you to email her, better yet, why not just call her and say "I was thinking of you, wonder how you are?" What is the worst that will happen? She won't talk to you? Won't respond? I'd certainly give her the benefit of the doubt since she had surgery. Good luck!
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