A
female
age
36-40,
*xb7
writes:My ex boyfriend is now seeing a new girl. We had a very bad break up. Recently his sister told me he left her a voice mail by accident, he really meant to call ME. The voice mail said "he is sorry for everything, he cares about me, and hopes everything will be okay with me". His sister told him to call me because he called the wrong number. He never did. His sister says it was his way of saying he hopes I am okay and that I get over the break up okay. She also doubts I will be hearing from him because she thinks he was drunk when he made the first call. I would like to become friends with him because I truly feel that over time we could re-build our feelings and possibly go back out in the future.However, I do not know if I should directly contact him. What should I do?
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (8 November 2010):
 I always advise against becoming friends with an ex in hopes of getting them back. You don't actually want to be friends, you just want to date him again, which isn't an actual friendship... But his message said nothing about dating or missing you even. It simply said he hopes you are going to be okay. I think maybe when drunk he felt bad about how terrible the break up was and wanted to make sure you were fine and doing ok. The fact is- he has a girlfriend, and he won't call you back even after realizing it never went to you. He doesn't want a relationship and apparently not a "friendship". Trying to be friends and hoping for more will only crush you repeatedly everytime you see him and talk to him. And imagine him talking about his current girlfriend (something a friend would do) and how badly that would hurt. You hope hanging out with him he will realize he loves you and you get back together. You will get let down constantly until you finally realize it just isn't going to happen. But as I said it doesn't even look like friendship is an option he wants. Just move on now. It's for the best. There was a break up for a reason.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 November 2010):
His sister could be playing a huge trick here. Perhaps she doesn't like this new girl, so is trying to mess it up. Or perhaps she's trying to hurt you.
Either way, I think this is best left in the past. Unless he was single, and he contacted you himself, there is no way it's worth going back. You had a bad break up, and all those reasons and problems will still be there whatever happens. You broke up for a reason, the break up was bad for a reason, so if I were you I'd really not go back.
...............................
|
