A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am thinking about messageing a guy I went out with a long time ago through one of the social networking sites. I think of him often and would love to reconnect with him, the only thing stopping me is the fear that he will reject me or not respond. I am quite an anxious person and I would take a rejection badly as I have been thinking about this for some time.I did a search on the site for similar questions to mine and it seems like most people would advise against contacting or responding to a long lost love. I know he might not be available. I am worried that he might just not bother responding as we were an item a long time ago and he may have forgotten all about me. What do people think? if he does not respond I won't pursue him. I only have one chance and I don't want to blow it. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (17 July 2012):
 If he doesn't reply, take it as a no and move on. At least you'll know how he felt or that he has someone else.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): Hi everyone, thank you for your replies, we lost contact when he went away to college - the distance, we were young - we only dated for a short time that's why I am worried he won't be interested. I have not had the best time with men so my self esteem has suffered.
I took your advice and sent a short message saying 'do you remember me?'
I am so anxious now. If he doesn't reply in the next few days should I give up hope?
I am not used to doing these things.
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A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury +, writes (16 July 2012):
 What do you really have to lose? It's online so it's not like he can reject you to your face. Go for it I say.
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." Too true.
Just message him. Don't think about it too much and just don't expect a reply. Then if he happens to reply it would be amazing. If not, nothing lost nothing gained. You have to bite the bullet and go for it.
The regret if you did not do it at all would be greater than the sadness that he didn't respond. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2012): I would first ask that you remind yourself of the reasons for why you ended. Firstly, did it end badly - if so I would say do not contact him, secondly - wa sit by his doing you ended if so, if he hasn't contacted you in this time then the likelihood is he doesn't want any kind of relationship with you and third, why did you end? If it was something fundamental such as cheating, big personality differences etc I would say it's not worth contacting him again as these are unlikely to change and so it could potentially lead to further heartbreak.If none of the above happened then I would say go for it, you have nothing to lose by doing so,if he doesn't contact you back then hey, at least you tried. Just be chilled about it and say, "hey, thought it'd been a long time since we last spoke, how are you?!" However, I would remind you not to expect anything to come of this, if the guy hasn't contacted you I would not expect anything more than a potential friendship, and I've found re-aquainting yourself with an ex can be awkward than a worthwhile venture.
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A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (16 July 2012):
Why did you guys loose contact? If not because of lack of interest in you then I would contact him. What have you got to loose?
I would just ask him how he is doing. Tell him you liked going out with him and ask him if he is seeing anyone.
A possible (indirect) rejection by PM would be less hard on you then in person I guess.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (16 July 2012):
Go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!!
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A
female
reader, IamJess +, writes (16 July 2012):
 As you said you only have once chance, and you obviously feel like now is the time, I'd go for it, because if you don't you'll always wonder what it could of been like, and if he would of wanted to speak to you. If he doesn't, then that's his loss, and then you can move on from this and find someone else, but I'd see how it is.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (16 July 2012):
 I see no harm in contacting him again!but first just talk as friends get to know each other,know abt what's new in his life and in this process you would eventually find out if he's seeing someone or single..and accordingly you can make a move..
Plan to meet up,spend some time together, you don't need to use a proposal line as your starter line:)go with the flow
Good luck x
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