A
female
age
26-29,
*at_plus_Him
writes:Me and my best friend (girl) went away camping for the weekend. On saturday we met some guys who took our numbers and invited us over to their camp site for the evening, so we got there and just hung out. They offered us beers and I took one, then two, then three, and before I knew it I was downing them in seconds through a beer bong. I vaguely remember one of the guys asking me if I had a boyfriend, to which I replied yes. We've been dating for over 16 months and we trust eachother entirely, which is why im so ashamed right now. So, long story short, about 10 beers later I was kissing one boy. After the first kiss he reminded me I had a boyfriend. I didn't stop myself. I kissed him all throughout the night, and every time I thought of my boyfriend, but I still wouldn't stop. My friend finally pulled me away, and we stumbled back to camp. Once we were alone, I started crying and saying that I felt horrible, that I love my boyfriend so much and that I was scared that I just ruined an amazing relationship. My friend thinks I should tell him about it, even though the only people who know about it are me and her. I trust her entirely not to let the secret out. So basically, I would only be telling him because we promised eachother to never keep secrets from eachother, and to clear my mind from it. Also, I plan on keeping no contact with the guy I kissed. It was a one-time thing, i'll never see him again, and I don't care for him whatsoever.Is it better to risk what we have and tell my boyfriend, or feel forever guilty but he never has to know?
View related questions:
best friend, drunk, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 July 2012):
 Congrats OP on being adult and brave....
now work hard to earn his trust back... be aware it takes a long time and he will be a bit shaky about it for a long while...
A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (10 July 2012):
 Good for you OP , I hope you can build trust again with him :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Kat_plus_Him +, writes (10 July 2012):
Kat_plus_Him is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told him the whole story today, and in the end he forgave me. But he told me that he had lost a lot of trust in me, that if it ever happens again he wont take it so well.. im just so happy we can get through this together and go back to our happy relationship, not a perfect one, but a relationship that has flaws that can be overcome
...............................
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (9 July 2012):
15 year old girls should not be downing 10 beers and then randomly kissing boys.
If you dont seriously change your behavior, I fear what will happen to you by 21.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 July 2012):
you've already been told all the important things
15 yr old girls should not be alone camping
15 yr old girls should NOT be drinking
and you need to be totally honest with him.
it's going to be hard and it's going to hurt and if he leaves you have learned a very very valuable lesson...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): What are doing camping by yourself, and drinking at your age? Where were your parents? This is just disturbing case of child neglect, no one else sees it here, but me???!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): You just don't take other guys numbers and go drinking with them when you have a boyfriend of over 16 months, as everyone knows where that leads!
Just as well you aren't planning to keep in contact with the guy because this situation would just get even more complicated.
I think you should tell your boyfriend, he has a right to know and make a decision based on what you have done. You would expect him to be honest enough to tell you if he had done it.
The guilt of it and carrying on as normal like it never happened, may make you crack and he will find out sooner or later anyway when you do.
Or if it doesn't make you crack, you will learn to live with it and then that just makes it easier to do similar things again because you will have learnt to switch your feelings off when convenient.
Nobody's perfect, and we all make mistakes. But the most positive thing to take away from our mistakes is the lesson that we learn from them... Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): Good luck OP, all you can do is promise not to do any of those things again; drink, giving guys numbers and yeah, kissing other guys.
Tomorrow's going to suck but I hope it all works out, 18 months is a long time to be with someone at your age and it's not something you can't move past if he's willing.
...............................
A
female
reader, Kat_plus_Him +, writes (9 July 2012):
Kat_plus_Him is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah, i figured drunk wasnt so smart anymore, thanks and ill be telling him tomorrow one way or another
...............................
A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (9 July 2012):
You have to tell him if not only for his benefit, then for yours. The guilt will eat away at you. A friend of mine made a similar mistake and ended up coming clean to her boyfriend. It took a very, very long time to rebuild the trust but the longer you wait the worse it will be for everyone.
And side note, stop drinking. Drunk is obviously not a good look for you.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Kat_plus_Him +, writes (9 July 2012):
Kat_plus_Him is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI only realized how much of a mess I was in the next morning... and yes im 15, so is my friend, the boys were 18. Please, dont say anything about the age, I regret it more than you can imagine, and Ive decided ill probably tell him but I want to find a way without him getting mad.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): Ultimately you have to make that decision but if I was him I'd want to know. Because not knowing I can't trust you would be horrible. I'd need to know that you have no problem giving strange guys your number, I'd need to know that you also don't mind getting plastered drunk at your age, in a tent with a load of strange guys, I'd also need to know that you passionately kissed and was with another guy the whole night, had to be dragged away and in all that time you didn't care that you had boyfriend.
It may have been a one time thing with this guy but any of those things could happen again.
Is your age really 13-15? I assume your friend was much older for you to be allowed to go camping just the two of you.
I'd honestly want to know I couldn't trust you so I could end it, but that's just me. This wasn't just a random drunken kiss, even the guy you kissed reminded you that you have a boyfriend and gave you the chance to stop.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2012): Don't tell him. Some things are better left unsaid. If this is truly going to hurt your bf, which it will, then please don't say anything! And make sure your friend doesn't go blabbing either. It was a kiss, not justifying what you did, but it's not like you had sex or got pregnant in the process. Ultimately, it's up to you, but I would not say a word, even with the guilt.
Best of luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (9 July 2012):
 I don't know. If your boyfriend was out camping and got invited by a bunch of girls to visit their camp site and then kissed one while he was there, would you want to know? It is better to risk telling your boyfriend because if you don't, somehow it will get back to him. A word of advice for the future: If you already have a boyfriend, you don't take up invitations from other guys when you are out camping. You are just asking for trouble.
...............................
|
