A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I starting seeing this guy about a month ago and we used to date about 3 years ago and I left him because I found out he was talking to another girl. I just had a baby about 5 months ago and really was hurt by my child's father and haven't really talked to anyone since him. So the guy had moved out of town and just moved back like 2 months ago and I am good friends with his cousin so he heard I had a baby and I wasn't with the child's father so 2 get 2 the point he got my number and we started talking again. He says stuff like he knows I'm the type of female that doesn't take crap and he's going to do everything in his power to make me happy and don't judge him on the past we had because he's changed and he really wants to make him and I work. Ok after weeks of talking and hanging out he would say stuff like this should have been my baby and I'll love your son like my own and he SAYS good stuff to me and talks about a future with me. Okay but sometimes when I call he won't answer and he'll call me back 30 minutes later when I know he's not at work and I get upset. By the way he doesn't have a car right now so on my days off I drive 30 minutes to go see him just to hang out for a little bit because he says he's busy and he has to get stuff done and I would expect a phone call when he wakes up like goodmorning or something but sometimes he won't even call he'll text me at like 1 p.m. hey what's up and on my day off yesterday he did the text thing so I just was cool and text him back didn't get mad but I would think he was going to call me by 7 but he didn't so I called him and he said he was at a local football practice with his friends, okay so knowing that it was my day off and we don't really get to see each other that often because of my job and the distance I would have thought because he's telling me all this good stuff that he would have wanted to hangout with me on my day off but he would have rather been at the football practice when he claimmms he sooo busy doing stuff that's why he don't hang out as much as we should. Okay so he's saying one thing like he wants to be with me and he even told me he thinks he's falling in love with me(and even told me he loves me!, and I told him I wasn't ready to tell him I love him back!) but then he won't call how he should be. So I basically told him it's not gonna work out because I'm getting upset all the time that he won't call me and how he should and I shouldn't have to tell him he should want 2 I feel like he's playing games with me and if he doesn't want it to be like a relationship then he should put it out there like that and tell me he wasn't ready instead of all this good talk and I'm thinking were in a relationship so in a relationship you do things to make the other person happy like call me! or how I drive 30 minutes to see him! so neways I told him I was gonna change my number and save myself for someone who appreciates me he told me I was overreacting and I just have to be patient because it will get better when he get's his life together blah blah blah. I haven't heard from him since then that was 2 days ago.. Should I change my number, am I overreacting like he said and acting crazy or you just tell me what you think lol thankyou! -confused
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male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (20 July 2009):
 You broke up with him and are thinking of changing you # because he`s not calling you? Overreacting. Your worried because you call and it takes him 30 minuets to get back to you.Overreacting.You have no proof of any wrongdoing on this guys part,but you shut him out for not doing what you expect. I think you need to have a bit more patience. On the other hand if you had tried to make plans for your day off and then he went out with his friends you could be justified in your anger.Why exactly is he busy?What is the stuff he`s trying to get done?Press for the details if you don`t know.If he`s not giving any he is probably hiding something.So in closing I think you have blown things out of proportion,but then again I could be wrong.
A
female
reader, malibugirl  +, writes (20 July 2009):
Don't change your number, you don't need to. He sounds like he has the best of intentions, he just can't get them from his brain to reality. It sounds like you need a little more assurance and security and it doesn't sounds like he has the maturity to deliver. I think your best best would be to stay cool and don't contact him again. If he does, you can just say, you'd like to go your separate ways. If he asks why, you can say that you don't feel like a priority in his life and that is something important to you, but no hard feelings and take care for the future. That will give him the message, but he sounds like he likes the unobtainable and he likes a challenge. have a think about what you want and stick to that. Focus on yourself for a bit, respecting what you want, will make him think a bit harder.
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (20 July 2009):
 You broke up with him because he was talking to another girl? Was there anything happening beside talking? Was he saying especially dirty things to this girl?How often do you see this guy? Maybe this relationship isn't working, but I think at your age telling him you're going to change your number and save yourself for someone who appreciates you is a bit melodramatic and childish.Clearly you guys have different expectations of how much communication should occur while in a relationship. There are heaps of times people call me and I'll miss it and not call them back until I see it - and vice versa - I don't see the big ordeal. He could be eating dinner, showering, hanging out with friends, I think it's a bit unfair to expect that if he's not working he should be available when you want him, as soon as you want him.I can't help but think your expectations communication wise are more than most guys would deliver. Personally, I don't thinking opting to sms rather than call you every single morning is really the kind of offence that requires ceasing all communication.
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