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male
age
36-40,
*hil_1984
writes: me and my girlfriend have been together for 2and a half years. But six months ago i did some thing silly and i had an affair with a girl from work, the only thing is i kept it a secret apart from my friend. About 2 months ago it came out what had happened and my girlfirnd was shocked and devistated, we worked through it though, but over the past month things have become hard again, She's been sending txt messages to 2 lads from work and it got to me, i accused her of an affair which didnt go down to well. I left her for 3 days but in these days she slept with my mate, she says she was drunk and it was a mistake and she's sorry, but now we've split up, i've moved back home and she is still living in our flat alone, I love her to bits and dont want to be without her because of this. But she says its now over and she doesn't want any thing to do with me, But she still loves me and thats what counts yes?? I just want to know if i should carry on fighting for her or should i let her go and move on with my life?we took a break about from being a serious couple and we still shared kisses and cuddles so i must mean some thing to her, she wanted to rebuild our friendship before our relationship and i threw it back in her face. Her mum says to play it cool and let her simmer down a while, is this the right thing to do? Or do i chase her?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, blackncute  +, writes (14 December 2006):
Hallow,
If u love her very much,pls fight for her, i can assure u tht u will win her back, but before settling down both of u hav to make sure tht u solve ur past problems before moving on, so tht u dnt make the same mistakes again.
Goodluck.
A
female
reader, sheffield_pink +, writes (14 December 2006):
I believe that once you've cheated you'll do it again and if you really love someone you wouldn't possibly be able to do it in the first place even if you're drunk. I'd say just move on, even if you did get back together the past would always come between you both.
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A
male
reader, early +, writes (14 December 2006):
Have a break, and try to get your head into a zone that allows you to treat women the way they would like to be treated, and the way you would like to be treated in return. Sleeping around with other girls and then lying, will no get the response you want and you havent "worked through it" its still there. and now shes sleeping with your best mate ?, what are your worst mates like if the best one does that to you. ! re-assess your thinking and remember "tell the truth" its better in the long run. !
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A
female
reader, lorr +, writes (14 December 2006):
IMO This relationship has run its course. Take this as a lesson learnt, and try to move on.
When one or both partners have an affair,trust is automatically lost, and it can be hard for a relationship to recover from this point.
By both of you moving on, and getting on with your own lives. Friendship could possibly happen in the future,IF its meant to be.So in the mean time,the best thing you can do is to let her go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): Don't chase her - give the space she needs cos I split with my boyf after I found out he had affair too.
He continually chased me hoping it would wear me down and I would get back with him but to be honest it turned me off him totally I wanted nothin to do with him any more!! Maybe if he had given me the space I wanted to work out things in my own head it would have been different...
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