A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, I have been in a serious relationship for exactly 3 years, I love my boyfriend to death but lately we've been going through a ton of problems, mostly trust issues. I had this strong gut feeling that he was cheating on me!!!. I recently attended a weding party and met this really amazing guy. We both got drunk and had an intense make out session. The other night we decided to get to know each other but only to persue a friendship........ As u can imagine that did not happen . We ended up making out alot more.........the next day i woke up feeling horrible....i told him that its best if we forget about each other... And he agreed. The problem is I can't stop thinking about him....but Im madly in love with my boyfriend... Should I break up with my bf or should I tell him about what I did???? Everytime I look into his eyes I feel guilty!!!! Please help!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): There are problems that need to be atlked about openly in your relationship. The only way problems can be addressed is when they are talked about, not hidden. Dont focus on your guilt. What emotional needs are not being met by your boyfriend? It sounds like secrecy is a problem so instead of creating more secrecy (destroying your relationship further) BE honest without anger. Remember, if you want honesty, GIVE honesty. You wont get one without the other. Liars dont build lasting relationships.
A
female
reader, amber nuttall  +, writes (9 September 2007):
Something similar happened to me, i told my boyfriend about it. Me and my boyfriend ended up breaking up, & the other guy was no longer interested in me! I then found out he had his own girlfriend, whom hes still with now. I've wished ever since that i had never layed eyes on the other guy, i miss my ex dearly. Its hard to know what to do, just go with your heart and hope you make the right decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): When one is committed to loving someone, they don't merely get momentary glitches and make out with some amazing guy they met up at a wedding party. So as far as I'm concerned, hun..your behaviors largely determined your true feelings. Let's look at what love really is. Love is an action, based on honor and committment. It's when a person makes the best out of life's challenges, by walking away from those tempting, fantasy moments that we sometimes stumble upon. You were challenged and you 'didn't resist'. So no matter how you spin it, what you did was self-involved, or perhaps you were 'getting back' at your bf for the problems in this relationship. Talking/communicating and hashing out the trust issues would have been the more loving, devoted, mature thing to do, don't you think? I think you need to step back and go it alone for awhile and mature, gain some clarity and learn about the spirit of givingness in a love relationship. Your behaviors are clearly telling you aren't ready to fully commit and if your bf has cheated on you and the trust is shaky, perhaps he is feeling the same way. I think you know what to..tell your bf
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (9 September 2007):
The big problem with Sweet-thing's advice is that it may eat away at you and screw you up. You may eventually need to get it off of your chest anyway. The best thing to do is to tell your boyfriend and lead it into a break up. If things have been going pretty bumpy lately and it is enough to lead to this, perhaps you need a break from each other right now or really a break from any relationship right now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): I agree completely with Sweet-thing.... and I'm a guy. don't tell your bf
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (9 September 2007):
 If you are already having trust issues, telling your b/f about this episode is sure to break you up. If you're sure you love your b/f and cannot imagine yourself ever doing anything so stupid ever again, I'd say take it to the grave and don't tell him. Your guilt will be your punishment for doing this horrible thing! Perhaps the weight of this thing will keep you from ever doing it again. In the meantime, focus your attention on your b/f and try to put the whole thing behind you. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, merlyn +, writes (9 September 2007):
 I agree with "Spanna's answer" but I alos want to point out that "if" you loved your bf as much as you say you do then this situation would have never existed in the first place. I don't care what anyone says about it's ok to have a "one time fling" no it isn't. there is no middle road in love. You either do or don't love someone there is no part time or yeah I love him/her, just not today. WTF is that any way????? It is a lame excuse for giving yourself permission to feel better about the act of infidelity (cheating). No I am not speaking from a "christian point of veiw" if I were then then mere act alone of being with your bf and this other guy in a sexual manner is an out right sin ... thankfully I am not, I am a Wiccan.
If you can't be honest with your bf about what happend then maybe you should break it off stay single for awhile and take time to findout whats important in life before you become involved with someone else
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): tell him you cheated its only right and also let him know you ended it and want to see if you can work it out but not only did you make out with him once but twice but if there is a second chance there will be more problems but if its strong love it will last thru anything but just because he may leave he doesnt mean he didnt love you he just is hurt and can not trust you
trust is so hard to gain back good luck
tell him asap
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