A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am female in my 40's and have been seeing a guy who is 32 for the past 6 months. (We have known each other over 10 years) We have been best friends for several years and became intimate with each other last year. We spend a lot of time together and he lives next door to me.He considers me his best friend. I am so in love with him and he doesnt have a clue.I have considered telling him how I feel but dont want to put our friendship at risk. I'd be interested to hear views of the men out there. Should I bite my tongue or should I open up to him and tell him how I feel?
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (4 February 2007):
 You say you have known him for 10 years but have been "seeing him" for the past 6 months, does this mean you're an "item" or are you both just friends still?
If you know each other so well I'm sure deep down he knows how you feel about him. I would suggest playing a little harder to get with him, make him miss you and want you more. Be unobtainable sometimes, don't tell him where you've been (even if it's only been to your mom's), let him think he has competition. If he really likes you then he'll start to show you more attention and maybe even tell you how he feels about you rather than have the fear of losing you.
Eve
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): i would tone things down a little in terms of how strong you feel in case he gets a little, scared, depends how close you are and how much time you spend together.but do tell him how you really like him etc etc, he will either be flattered of scared off, hopefully the former!
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A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (4 February 2007):
Im sorry, Im a woman answering this. But hope I can help.
YOu have been intimate with him you say, well that proves there must be an attraction, thats a good start.You get on well and spend lots of time together, thats another good thing. So I would suggest that you, calmly tell him how you feel, then to save your friendship and pride. Explain that you are in love with him, but understand completely if he does not feel the same. Say that if all he wants is friendship, you will be very happy with that and can controll how you feel, and wish to continue being good friends, and that he has no worries about you pressurising him, or being his friend with an alterior motive to get with him.
Try to think I have nothing to loose, if he feels the same way great!!! if not at least you will know and still have a good friend, but be able to work on moving on from your feelings to him, and perhaps get ou there and meet someone who could be of a romantic interest for you. Whilst still having a dear friend.
I think it sounds hopefull that he feels the same and maybe he is also having the smae dilemma as you as to whether he should tell you how he feels !!!
Good luck either way what ever happens you can then move forward with your lifex
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