A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have a bf, we have been going out for 2.5 years now, and do have sex.just the other night, i assumed we would have sex, but we decided not to since we do it almost 4-5 time a week (!?!?) any way, that very next morning, i saw my bf jerk off....i was taken aback!!!my question is, should i be worried, hurt or betrayed??please help me, i feel confussed! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): this is so normal. a lot of men do the same thing. he may have been too tired or just not really in the mood that specific evening. The fact that he "jerked-off" the next day does not necessarily mean that he prefers it to sex. It could be that he waoe up with a hard on and needed to orgasm in order for it to go down. i know a few men whom it has happened to. try not to worry and if u still do, ask him. calmly bring up the subject. do not make him feel like he is doing something abnormal as it may just make him close up. please accept it. it is not you. he is obviously still sexually attracted to you if u have sex 4-5 times per week!
A
female
reader, x.Helpful.Cupid.x  +, writes (2 March 2007):
 Hiya x
Hey dont worry!! Im sure he just wanted some pleasure..& well, 4/5 times a week? God he must be tired. Maybe he wanted to just wait a bit. Dont be worried hurt or betrayed, its perfectly normal..men have the strangest erges..& strange reactions..just talk to him, & ask him what went on lastnight? This way, he cant not answer, & you will know why.
Good luck xx
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A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (28 February 2007):
contrary to popular belief, men arent always up to 'their game'.
yes we can easily have sex (unless tired or stressed, but i'll get to that). but theres a difference to a quick and easy sexual moment or pleasing your partner properly. he most likely just wanted quick relief rather than all the extras.
it could just be that night he was tired or had a long day. the best time for men is always the morning (im sure if youve woken up next to a man you'll know why).
im sure all is well, just put it down to 'one off the wrist' so to speak lol
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A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (28 February 2007):
 The question is, when you're with him do you have sex or do you make love? The difference in phrasing is tiny, but there are massive differences between them.
In this case, your boyfriend probably turned you down, simply because he wasn't in the mood to make love. Getting off on your own is a very different experience to that.
If you're really worried about it then you should just ask him! I'm sure that there's nothing to worry about.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (28 February 2007):
 A lot of people pleasure themselves even if they're in a relationship with someone. I don't think you need to feel hurt or betrayed about your boyfriend giving himself a hand. It doesn't mean that he loves you any less or that he doesn't find you attractive.
Sex is always great, but sometimes a person needs to be totally selfish, and then it's great to whack off because it doesn't require you to care about anybody else's pleasure. It's relieving at times.
In short: no worries. Everything is fine.
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