A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I recently saw my wifes Internet search history on her phone and she had visited a horoscope site and specifically looked up "how to seduce a Scorpio". Sounds innocent enough, except for the fact that I am a Cancer!! Been married 19 years. Should I be concerned. I feel stupid asking her about it. Plus, she would probably be mad at me for snooping. I guess you shouldn't look if you don't want to see, huh? Also, she has never had an interest in astrology before now. What's up with that? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2013): just because you've been married 19 years doesn't give you the right to know every single detail about what your wife is thinking. Accept that even long-married people are still individuals and have a right to privacy and to not have to share every single aspect of their thoughts with their spouse. That said, I would hope that after 19 years of marriage if you simply MUST know, that surely you can just ask her?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 May 2013):
 who do you know born around thanksgiving?
seriously... after 20 years of being with this woman you are afraid to ask her what's up?
and like Tisha my Dear Cupid searches might make my hubby's head spin.
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (16 May 2013):
 Ask her! You will be able to see from the way she answers if she is lying or not.
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (16 May 2013):
 Married nineteen years, if I was married that long and my husband put something like that into a search engine, I would ask him what the hell.
I put stuff like that in google and stuff, but I do charts for people and some of them like to know that stuff. So, perhaps its something she just discovered recently that's her new hobby.
Ask her about it. It's probably nothing and you're worrying yourself over nothing.
Good luck to you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): What concerns me is not what you found, but your own actions and outlook on this situation. People are entitled to their private thoughts. So what if that is in her Internet history? Could be anything from a passing curiosity to an accidentally clicking on some link that brought her to that page.
Why were you even snooping to begin with? If you go searching for a reason to get anxious, chances are you will find it. Spouses don't own each other. If you don't trust her then that is the main problem in your relationship whether it has to do with her or yourself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): Your wife probably doesn't know you have a DearCupid account. Or at least, she doesn't know you asked this question. How would you feel if she snooped your things, got suspicious, and asked about it?
Silly, right? It's okay to be curious, but you're overthinking it. A relationship is about sharing, but this is one of the reasons why privacy is also necessary.
Sometimes people search things for entertainment. Think about all the random things you've searched before. No biggie, right?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 May 2013):
 My internet search history is a weird and wacky list of odd sites. I look for links to answer people who ask about STDs. I look up help sites for people who are being abused. There are many topics on this site that need a little more research and I look them up. I do not have an STD, I am not being abused, nor do I have a crush on my teacher, I am not having an affair, etc.
If she's never been into astrology and you are happily married for 19 years, it seems a stretch that she should need guidance on how to seduce some astrological sign.
Why not ask her?
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (16 May 2013):
Are you sure you can't ask your wife of 19 years about this rather than people who have no clue about your marriage?
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (16 May 2013):
 Yes that would strike me as odd and a bit suspect not having an interest in Astrology beforehand and to be looking up Scorpio even though it’s a Water Sign like Cancer and Pisces.
Just to be sure from our perspective; I take it your Wife is not a Scorpio, October 24 – November 22? :)
CAA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): Is she or one of her close friends/close friend's boyfriend/husband a Scorpio? Maybe she's looking it up for one of them. I wouldn't know for sure, but it's just a thought.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2013): May I take a moment for hardy LOL. It's usually the wife or girlfriend snooping. Shame on you! You are correct that snooping can open a can of worms, and you had better be prepared to deal with what you find.
I think considering the subject matter; it is hard to take it seriously. Let alone jump to any conclusion that your wife is cheating or contemplating seducing someone. It could be an A and B conversation between your wife, and a friend or relative.
You, being the snooping C; might be on the receiving-end of a joke. Or you've been setup to find out if you snoop around in her private messages. Technically being her husband, there should be no secrets; ethically, she has a right to privacy. This being your first offense. Don't make a fool of yourself.
I think you should dismiss this for something silly. If she's up to something; I hope you find evidence of a more serious nature. Something incriminating, not so hilarious.
You can still approach her and say that you sense that she may be unhappy in the bedroom; and would like to know if there is anything she'd like to talk about. Keep it light and don't be confrontational. It's just a fact-finding mission; not an inquisition, or cross-examination.
Before having that talk. Sit down and think about it. Have you been neglecting her? Have you made every effort to make sure she is pleasured to orgasm? Has she asked you to do things that you wouldn't do for her? Is it over when you get your orgasm? You may just have a guilty conscience, and it's making you unjustifiably suspicious.
Don't take the messages too seriously. Someone introduced her to astrology and she's just messing around out of curiosity. She may be doing some match-making to setup a friend, and she wants to see what the odds are. You stuck your nose in the middle of it.
The talk and introspection still wouldn't hurt. Go spice up your sex-life and fo-get-abot-it!!!
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female
reader, watchinghawk +, writes (15 May 2013):
Since when have you been checking internet searches on her phone without her permission? It's possible you are paying closer attention to her phone actions because other signs of her pulling away are there. Did you recently become suspicious of her activity or are you just a suspicious kind of guy? Maybe she is cheating or maybe you are feeling more self conscious because she is changing. I believe if she were cheating you would have seen signs: She's not home when you expected her to be, she is socializing reguarly at night without you, or she is paying more attention to her appearance than usual, to name a few.
Also keep in mind that searches don't have to lead to actions. She might be curious and then change her mind. How awful it would be to read minds because so many insignificant thoughts enter and leave a person's mind.
It seems to me that if you are worried the relationship is going off course, you have options that don't have to include snooping to picking up popcorn trails that just might lead to nowhere. Talk to her about rebuilding the friendship, closeness and intimacy, if that's lacking. Try talking to her about your fears and desire to improve the marital bond;it will at least give you information about her interest in improving the relationship. If she is not interested in improving the relationship then that's another sign right there.
Many Blessings to you!
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